Ways to Get Your Ex Back

I miss my ex girlfriend...

2010-08-25T23:51:00.000-07:00

When you find yourself saying “I miss my ex girlfriend,” you need to find ways to move forward with your life. No matter how bad the break up was, there is life after your ex. Finding your way through the depression that follows the end of the relationship can be hard. That’s why you need to take concrete actions to move forward.

First of all, you need to work on bringing closure to the relationship. Closure is the process by which you move on from a situation. While you may find specific situations in which you say, “I miss my ex girlfriend,” you will not be in this state all of the time.

Begin by definitively saying that the relationship is over. As long as you think there is a chance that you can get your ex back, you will not be able to move on. Healing begins with putting an end to the relationship.

Next, you need to physically close the relationship. You do that by exchanging all of the possessions in the other’s care. Give her back the toothbrush and curling iron she kept at your house and ask her for the sweat shirt that she had borrowed for the long term. If you owed each other money, settle up.

Once you have your possessions back, give yourself some physical space. While you may want to remain friends with your ex in the long run, staying away in the short term will facilitate healing. Don’t call, text, or email each other. If she tries to contact you, screen her out.
Image via Wikipedia
And, don’t show up at places she is likely to be. You don’t want to give her any opening to get under your skin. Seeing her with another guy so soon will just prompt feelings of “I miss my ex girlfriend” all over again.

You may even need to change some of your social habits. If you go to a small church, you might want to consider changing places of worship at least in the short term. You may have to pick a new favorite bar or hang out as well.

When you start going new places, you will inevitably meet new people. Some of these people will be female. These new women are good prospects for dates.

While it may seem right now that you’ll never want to date another woman, the truth is that the sooner you get back on the dating scene, the sooner you will begin to heal.

It may not be enough to just be available though. Consider actively seeking out women. Take a class at the local university’s extension program. Join a co-ed softball team. Take up a new hobby. All of these strategies will allow you to start meeting new women.

If a woman intrigues you, ask her out even if you can’t picture yourself in a long term relationship with her. A date is just a fun social experience, not a commitment.

Pretty soon, you won’t be saying “I miss my ex girlfriend” nearly as frequently. You will have moved on with your life.

Is Infidelity the cause to your marriage's to fall apart?

2010-05-13T22:28:00.000-07:00

Here's some facts that you need to know about infidelity.... and adultery in today's life...

Got dumped ? Now you want to get back with your ex ?

2010-04-13T06:29:00.000-07:00

Image by Reza Vaziri via Flickr

Are you a dumped boyfriend entertaining thoughts of how to get your ex back? Does it seem like she had no rational reason to break things off? Or, do you know that you had faults, but you are willing to change? Here’s the dumped boyfriend’s guide to getting the girl back.

First of all, you need to listen to the reason that she dumped you. Fortunately most women like to talk. When she dumped you, she probably gave you a dozen reasons why she wanted to end the relationship. This is helpful to you. If she has told you what she dislikes in you, you know what to change.

Secondly, many women end relationships because they need “space.” They may say “you’re crowding me.” Respect these feelings of hers. If you give her the space she needs, she may very well come back to you. This is very hard for many a dumped boyfriend to believe. Instead, they call, text, and email their ex girlfriends. This further cramps the woman’s emotional space.

If space is a primary consideration, you need to give it to her. Let your ex be the one who initiates any contact. If you see her in a public place, be polite, but not fawning.

In the meantime, you can begin working on the new you. Take time to go to the gym. Not only will you look better, you will feel better too. When your ex sees you, she may even be more attracted to you than ever.

Work on your academic or professional life as well. Many times, a dumped boyfriend will go into a depression and not want to study or go to work. This is a mistake. You can mess up many opportunities in the future because of a bad spell with a girl.

Hang out with your buddies. This may be a time when they can support you. You can also do things that your girlfriend didn’t enjoy when you were together.

Take up new hobbies or interests. They can distract you from the current situation. You will meet an entirely new set of people if you do.

As you put your life together without your ex, you will actually become more attractive to her. If she is ever going to come back to you, it won’t be because you have been moping around waiting for her. It will be because you have become a better man.

If she does come back, that’s great. You have an opportunity at a new beginning on a relationship with a woman you love. But, if she doesn’t come back, you have set yourself up to be an attractive man to lots of other women.

Even though it seems like your life is in the pits now, you can take control of what you do. By giving your ex space to sort out her feelings, you also give yourself the opportunity to remake your life. Perhaps she will come back. Perhaps she won’t. But that’s not the point.

When you are a dumped boyfriend, what you make of your life is the point.

Download the FREE Report on The Get Ex Back System and End Your Misery And Get Your Ex Back ! Download below - Click the ebook cover :

Second Chance - Get Him/Her Back !

2010-03-15T07:18:00.000-07:00

Have you or someone you know found themselves in a situation where they would do almost anything to get back with their ex? You'll cry, you'll beg, you'll threaten, you'll promise to change, but they keep walking.

Ending a relationship and losing someone you love from your life can be one of the most frustrating and defining moments in your lifetime, and it's hard to know what the right thing to do is when you are trying desperately to turn things around.

I get a lot of emails from people claiming that they have the answer to everyone's prayers, and they have the secret technique that is necessary to bring your partner back, but most I find lacking. It's hard to get excited every time I get a new product on my desk, that was until Mirabelle Summers from MeetYourSweet.com asked me to review her latest ebook.

Mirabelle Summers has recently finished an ebook which covers all the essential steps necessary to maximize your chances of getting your ex back, without the begging, manipulation, or silly games. Let's face it, if you and your partner have broken up and you want them back, you are going to need to do something pretty special to convince your ex that it's worth another chance, and that things are going to be different this time.

The problem with getting your ex back is that often your first instincts are the ones that are likely to do the most damage. Begging, crying, pleading, threatening, getting another partner to make them jealous, doing anything to get the attention you are craving, are all things that are going to reinforce the fact that the breakup was the right thing to do.

That's why Mirabelle Summers' "2nd Chance - How To Win Back The Love Of Your Ex" is different. Summers and her stable of writers at MeetYourSweet.com have come up with a 6-step program that is going to take you from getting through the immediate grief, to thinking about what happened, all before initiating contact, knowing what to talk about, and steps for putting love into practice.

If you are serious about rescuing your relationship and winning back the love of your ex, this 6-step plan is going to deliver something pretty substantial. In addition to her comprehensive 6-step system, she also answers key questions covering topics such as:

An Uncommunicative Ex 'Just Be Friends' Zone Getting Over Past Mistakes When Your Ex is with Someone Else Dealing with an Emotionless Ex Do They Still Love Me?

When I took a look at how much information is in here, I was truly impressed. This is no ordinary ebook. At a whopping 174 pages, it's much, much more. Mirabelle has really given it all away with her 6-step system. This ebook is guaranteed to assist even the most desperate relationship situation!

If you want to win back the love of your ex, there is no room for mistakes or techniques that are going to do more damage than good. You need to develop a considered and genuine approach to winning your ex back, and that's exactly what
Mirabelle Summers' "2nd Chance - How To Win Back The Love Of Your Ex" will do. It's the first place I would turn to rescue a relationship.

But don't take my word for it, see for yourself! Check out the ebook and much more HERE.

I promise you will learn something from this ebook, and it may be the best investment you have ever made! Win back your ex and rebuild your love. Do it right this time!

Get your Girlfriend Back

2010-01-18T22:27:00.000-08:00

If you've ever wondered why your ex won't return your calls, or why she won't agree to meet up for old times' sake, you could be approaching the whole situation subjectively. You're acting on pure instinct and your feeling of guilt or remorse will not let you leave your ex alone. You keep calling and pestering her, justifying your actions as 'persistent', and she keeps running away.

Image by AditChandra via Flickr

Before she changes her number for good, or moves out of the city, heed the following tips on how to get a girlfriend back before it's too late.

1. Use Reverse Psychology

First, let's get one thing out of your system. Yes, women can be be complicated and they sometimes say what they don't mean. Now that you understand that clearly, let's look at it from another angle. What if she is messed up emotionally herself? She doesn't know which direction to take because you're hounding her and she is getting stifled. Try this one trick to handling a stubborn ex: give her space. If she cannot hear you explain your side, you will keep her guessing. Soon she will be wondering what you're thinking, and will probably wring her hands over your apparent apathy. Turning the tables on her will work, if used cleverly.

2. Flirt with her but keep your distance

If you look back on how you got her in the first place, you will realize that being needy is not the way to her heart. You can flirt with her, but keep the interaction open-ended. Make it clear that it's still her choice whether or not to go out with you again. Also, make her realize that you're still the flirt that she met a long time ago. Treat her like you would a girl you want to woo, and not as the ex that you desperately want back.

3. Use Jealousy

This technique can be very powerful. She might claim she doesn't feel anything for you anymore, but once you trigger her jealousy, you will access her emotional treasure trove of old feelings for you once again. Note, however, that this method should be used with caution. Abusing it could kill your chances, and using it frivolously for your pride's sake could lead to more harm than good.

While you're learning the various ways to get a girlfriend back, always remember your girl could be testing you. Your job is not to fall for the tests. Just dodge her questions, and don't let her goad you into telling her whether you're dating again or not. If she asks you to do small favors like take her laundry out, or buy stuff for her, just ignore her. The last thing you need right now is to get stuck in the friend zone, so heed this warning.

How A Rebound Relationship Can Work In Your Favor

2010-01-15T21:43:00.000-08:00

If you have broken up with the love of your life and she is in a rebound relationship, how do you get her back?

A rebound relationship is one where she is dating someone else to get over you. Rebound relationships keep people from having to deal with the emotions of breaking up. They’re used to help people move on from a real love.

And that’s the key to getting your ex back. She’s in a rebound relationship to deal with losing you.

It does not matter why she lost you. It doesn’t matter if it is your fault or hers. It doesn’t even matter who actually called the relationship off. What matters is that you have a real love.

Because virtually all relationships founded on real love can be saved!

If she’s in a rebound relationship, she will be focusing on what is wrong with your relationship. If you were a “good guy” she’ll probably be hanging out with a “bad boy.” If you were into philosophy, he’ll be watching Monday Night Football. Or, vice versa.

The fact that she is actually focusing on the differences in your styles is actually good for you for two reasons. Her attention is still focused on you even when she’s with the new guy. And, it gives you a chance to see what she’s looking for.

If she’s with someone as different from you as possible, it means that she was missing something in your relationship. You can use the time she’s with rebound man to improve yourself.

Let the rebound relationship run its course. Because, as she spends time with the new guy, she’ll start to see the flaws in him. After a month or so with rebound man, you’ll start to look pretty good.

That’s why you don’t want to crawl back to her right away. Let her develop the idea that she misses the good things in the relationship. When she’s ready to make a move, be magnanimous. Welcome her back graciously. Be a new and improved boyfriend, but don’t do the chasing.

Here are some specific steps to take when your ex is in a rebound relationship:

· Don’t try to convince her that you are the love of her life. Let her discover this on her own.

· Don’t apologize profusely. If you did something wrong, you can say you’re sorry. Once. But move on. She knows the real reason she loves you.

· Don’t make promises to change. You are who you are and that’s who she fell in love with.

· Don’t try to make her see that it wasn’t your fault. She will come to appreciate that over time – but only if you haven’t made her invest energy in defending her position that it was your fault.

· Never, ever beg her to take you back.

When you ex starts going out with someone just after you break up, she’s in a rebound relationship. You can make up with her and get back together. Don’t despair.

The rebound relationship is a sign that she’s still in love with you!

Dealing With Break Up

2010-01-11T02:58:00.000-08:00

When you are having trouble dealing with break up it is only natural. There is nothing to be ashamed of because everyone does. The important thing to do is to decide how you are going to dealing with break up.

You have two ways that you can go about dealing with break up :

==> The first is to let it tear you apart.
==> The second is to overcome it and become stronger because of it.

There is a saying that that whatever doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger but that all depends on your attitude and how you decide you will be dealing with break up.

This break up may have been the most devastating thing you have gone through but you don’t have to let it destroy you. What makes you a survivor is you deciding that this moment will not define you. A marriage ending in divorce or any type of relationship ending is difficult. If it was due to someone’s infidelity or an affair then you may have self-esteem issues that you need to get some counseling to help you through it. The same is especially true if there was abuse of any kind involved. If you were on either side of those issues, seek some help. Dealing with break up for any reason can cause some long-term problems if they aren’t dealt with soon.

When you are dealing with break up you want to be strong after you have gone through all of it. By deciding that you are going to come out a winner and stronger you are going to be helping yourself by giving yourself some positive focus and good goals to achieve. Don’t let this consume you. You have to be able to move on. Winning this is learning that there is life after this relationship and finding that life.

Also, don’t decide that you just want to survive, decide that you are going to THRIVE! Realize that your best days are ahead of you. Wake up each morning trying to focus on what good things can come on this day and try to be excited about what tomorrow holds. Focus on the good things that life has to offer. Life is over just because that relationship ended. You don’t have to lie to yourself and others. Believe that today is a gift and that you are fortunate because you have an unopened gift waiting for you just around the corner. Once you start believing that, you won’t have any more problems dealing with the breakup.

Breaking up is hard to do but it is only as devastating as you let it be. A nasty breakup doesn’t have to be the end of you. It can and will be a new beginning. The breakup of a relationship doesn't have to bring the breaking up of your life. If you build a new foundation from the ruins of this tough breakup, chances are that you will have no problem dealing with break up in the future.

What to do If She Says She Has Lost Interest In Being Married

2010-01-08T04:48:00.000-08:00

It is not easy to watch a woman get bored with your marriage. It is even worse if you do not notice at all. You need to be aware of the things that are going on in your marriage so that you can make it work and last for as long as possible. You should not let your marriage get so boring to the point that your wife loses interest. I would recommend that you take the time to be sure that everyone is satisfied and happy so that you can keep your marriage happy and strong.

When your wife tells you that she is bored and is loosing interest in being married, you need to take action. You have to be ready and willing to reconstruct the marriage so that you are not losing out on something that you love so much. You should be able to keep the marriage going strong so that you can live a happy life together.

You can reconstruct a marriage first by communication. You have to be wiling to sit and talk to each other. The more that you talk, the more that you will be able to find out about each other and what is going on. You can talk about what is boring her and what she needs to have from you to be happy. When you are willing to sit and discuss things you will get down to what is really going on and how you can start to put it back together.

Once you have communicated well about what is going on, you should then think about what you have to do to make it all right. This is going to be serious. You should not go into this conversation unless you are totally willing to make things work between the two of you. You should sit down and think of things that you both can do to make the marriage more interesting to both of you. Listen to what she has to say and take it to heart. You should not demise what she is saying and take it serious so that you are able to put the spark back into the marriage.

I know that there are lots of married couples that just forget about the fun that they used to have. They have become comfortable with each other and there is nothing at all wrong with that. However, they have become too comfortable. Life has become boring for them and it is hard to get excited about being married again. When this happens, you need to notice before she comes to you and says that she is losing interest in being married. This is going to be the point that you want to avoid. You need to keep it fresh and alive in your marriage so that you can keep both of you excited and interested in the marriage.

Do not take things for granted. You may think that your marriage is happy and everything is great. However, you may not see what is really going on inside her head. You may not be able to see that she is bored and very unhappy. Again, the best thing that you can do is talk to each other and find out what each other is feeling. This is the called communication and it is the key factor to have in any marriage.

Think of ways that you can add the fun into your relationship. Plan a romantic getaway so that you can have some fun like you used in the beginning. You should think about how you can surprise her and make her feel special. Make this the most romantic getaway that you have ever had. Do not be afraid to make it over the top. If you have the money to make it happen, you should go for it. However if you do not, you can make it as well as you can with what you have. This is the best way that you can get some alone time without others around to make things right again or at least try.

Do something nice for your wife when you can. Shock her with your kindness and let her know that what she does is appreciated. You want her to know that she is something special in your life and you want to honor that. This is a great way to make her feel interested in the marriage again. You will be amazed at how far you may get with this approach. You want to do little things whenever you can so that she will feel like she is the light of your life and that you are always thinking of you.

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Let's Start Talking Again....

2010-01-05T04:41:00.000-08:00

It’s a fact that more marriages end in divorce than those that last. It used to be that marriages really were forever. The phrase “’till death do us part” was actually meant when it was uttered during wedding vows.

Now, we see or hear about celebrities who marry for 18 hours and couples that get hitched only to get legal status in one country or another.

Marriage is not a word that should be taken lightly, yet it is on a daily basis. But what do you do when your marriage is starting to fall apart, when everything you want is slowly slipping away? You rescue it.

1) Rescuing the Relationship

To save your relationship, you must first figure out what is causing it to fall apart.

Do you and your spouse talk about things, or are you too busy working and raising your family to discuss what’s going on? Have you gone on a date in the last six months?

Do you fight and argue all the time, or has one of you cheated on the other? What is causing the relationship to break down? Let’s face it; you don’t just wake up one morning and say, “I think I’d like a divorce today.”

In order to figure out what’s going (or gone) wrong in your relationship, you need to take a step back from your feelings to observe what is going on.

If you fight frequently, write down the things you fight about. Write down the amount of time you’ve spent together in the last few days, and write down what you were doing when you weren’t spending time together.

You will want to get everything straight in your head before you start to talk to your spouse about your problems and what you think might be damaging your relationship.

2) Talking—It’s Not Overrated

After you have gathered your information, approach your spouse.

Make sure you go into the discussion calmly and rationally. You also want to make sure that you’re not accosting or accusing, but rather asking and questioning.

If you go into the talk too aggressively, you are going to turn them off and nothing will get answered or resolved. Make sure you lay everything out on the table, from the things that are bothering you to the things that you wish you did more of together.

Explain that you want to know how your spouse is feeling, and that you care about where they want the relationship to go.

3) Scheduling

If you have a busy schedule, you may want to make an appointment to have this discussion. Actually, making a schedule for the two of you on a weekly basis is an excellent idea.

All parents know that children thrive on routine, which is why they have a time to wake up, a time to eat, and a time to go to bed. Relationships thrive on a somewhat of a timed schedule, as well.

For instance, take the case of my friend and her husband. Both of them spend every Saturday night together. They have young children, so most of the time they stay in instead of going out. They will rent a movie and either get take-out or some quick meal they can throw together once the kids have gone to bed.

They leave the lights on in the living room long enough to eat their meal, and then, once that’s done, they put the dishes in the sink (they will still be there the next day, so there’s no reason to spoil the mood by doing them), turn the lights off and snuggle together to watch the rest of the movie. They don’t talk about anything except the movie, and make sure that they are touching each other as much as they can.

It is not “un-romantic” to schedule time to be with your spouse. Make sure that you get some time together, whether it’s going out together, or staying in watching a movie. For myself and my boyfriend, sometimes we’ll pull out a board game, add some alcohol, and have a great night being silly together.

As you get along in your relationship, you come to take each other for granted. Spending fun, relaxing time together is one great way to get your relationship back on track.

If you’re thinking about filing for divorce because you can’t stand the fighting anymore, stop. Think about why you are fighting, and try to put yourself in your partner’s shoes. When you love each other and put a little work into it, marriages really can last forever.

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7 Ways To Get Over A Broken Heart FAST !

2010-01-02T04:32:00.000-08:00

A broken heart is hard to deal with no matter how the break up goes down. It is something that may hurt for a long time to come. You need to figure out how to get over a broken heart when it happens. It may not be something that you want to think about but you have to do it because life does go on and you need to take advantage of it.

There are going to be different phases of the breakup. You need to go through them all so that you are able to achieve the sense of security and love that you once did. Having these feelings are going to be good for you but you do not want to take them too far. This will only make things harder on you when it comes to getting on with your life. There are predicable phases of a break up. You may have been through them before, but there are some good ways to deal with your strong feelings and get over that broken heart fast!

1. You need to share your feelings. Getting out what you are feeling is going to make you feel better inside. You want to share these feelings with your friends and family or anyone that will listen to you. Having a good support is going to help you get through the tough times faster. You do not have to let it out all at once. Talk about it slowly and work your way up to getting it all out in the open.

2. Think about what is good for you. You have to get over this broken heart fast so that you are able to feel better. You need to make good choices for what is good for your heart and soul. Make sure that you are not putting yourself in any situation that may be harmful for you. Getting over the breakup is important and you need to do what is best for you.

3. Taking good care of you is important. You want to keep eating and exercising and staying healthy. You need to keep your strength up so that you are able to be strong and able to feel good about yourself. This will help you get over the break up and get back on track.

4. Let it all out if you want to. Crying is good. You do not have to be embarrassed about crying. It is part of life. You will find that there are going to be hard times that hit you all of a sudden and you will feel like crying and letting it all out. You need to do this anyway to keep your sanity. This will help you feel better and get back on track. You need to do this when you feel the urge and do not worry about what others think.

5. Doing the things that you love the most will help you get over the break up too. You will want to make sure that you are keeping up with your hobbies and doing what makes you the happiest. You want to keep your schedule on track and stay busy. This will help you heal faster.

6. Keeping busy is key. You need to stay on the go and keep your mind occupied. This will allow you to keep those unhappy and undesirable life events out of your mind and keep you motivated to stay healthy. You want to make sure that you are doing all that you can to stay busy. You will want to talk to your friends, go out more and spend some time with your family. These things will make you feel better and help heal your wounded heart.

7. Time is of the essence. You need to remember that all wounds heal with time. You need to give yourself the time and soon you will notice that you are not feeling so bad and that life is good again. If you actively seek the answers to the problematic areas of your life which has caused your breakups, you will find the answers. Seek the help of an expert if you desire to restore your marriage or your relationship. Ask and talk to people who have successfully saved their relationship. Their insights and experience can help you pull through this period. Who knows, once you have it all figured out, you could well be on your way to save your relationship and have your lover running back into your arms again!

There is no need to worry when you are involved in a break up. Everyone has been through it and there is going to be happiness again. When a relationship breakup happens, understand that it is not your fault and do not put all the blame on yourself. It usually does mean that something has gone off-balance in your life and in your relationship and you need to put that balance back.

Have your lover come running back into your loving arms again before it's too late!

* Do you know what your lover or spouse want from your as a partner and mate??
* Do you know you CAN have a long lasting marriage or relationship and be the

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3 Positive Steps When Getting Back Together After A Break Up

2009-12-31T04:21:00.000-08:00

Are you interested in getting back together after a break up? How are you feeling after just breaking up with your ex? Getting back together after a break up is possible if you really want to make it happen. If you love the other person and want to rekindle things, there are some considerations that you need to make. Start to think about getting back together after a break up and you will be reminded of what broke the relationship up in the first place. What will you do to rekindle the old flame?

You may feel like the best way to initiate getting back together after a break up is to call your ex up and beg for their return. This is not the way to go! You may think that the best course of action is to lock yourself in your home and cry until you've run out of tears. This isn't it either! If you're serious about getting back together after a break up, there is a better way to go.

Here are the three best steps that you can pursue for getting back together after a break up!

1 - First and foremost, getting back together after a break up means accepting that what happened happened.

It may be hard for you to accept that the breakup happened, but you cannot continue the relationship the way its going. You need to accept that the breakup happened so that you can work on renewing things. Getting back together after a break up means ending the original relationship and then starting new rather than trying to rekindle things in the same way they were before.

2 - Secondly, getting back together after a break up does not begin with calling your ex!

Do not call your ex when you are working on getting back together after a break up. Let things cool down, regulate your emotions and work on thinking about what happened to cause the break up. Getting back together after a break up is going to mean figuring out what went wrong and rectifying it before you call. Work on improving the relationship in your mind, and do not call your ex until things have normalized in your heart and head.

3 - Finally, getting back together after a break up means planning for the right timing.

Once you are feeling like you are more prepared for getting back together after a break up, you can begin to plan the where and how. By the time you are prepared to rekindle things, you will have a better idea about whether you are still in love with him or her or not. Since everything has ended now, don't worry about who is at fault. Instead, focus on getting back together after a break up with positives in mind. Begin with casual conversation, a good friendship, and let things develop from there. If you take things slow and treat them positively, getting back together after a break up is easier than you would imagine.

4 Tips To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back

2009-12-28T04:14:00.000-08:00

If your girlfriend broke up with you and you want to get your ex girlfriend back, keep reading. Guess what? 9 times out of every 10, if this happened it's because you did something wrong. It can be a little tough for men to maintain relationships with women, but it is still quite possible with the right know how. You just need to figure out what happened to make you go off track so that you can get your ex girlfriend back.

Where did you go off track? Why did your ex girlfriend break up with you? When you are ready to get your ex girlfriend back, there are things that you really need to consider just like these. Some girls will tell you all of your faults in great detail while others won't. When you are trying to figure out what you did wrong, don't be afraid to ask her. This is a big step to learning how to get your ex girlfriend back because it will tell you what she thinks you need to do to make the necessary changes.

If she's not telling you what you did wrong and you still want to get your ex girlfriend back....

Consider the following things:

1 - You may need to pay more attention to her if you want to get your ex girlfriend back. Women don't like it when you're not paying enough attention to them. This really isn't an unreasonable request on their part. It's vital to every relationship that you give enough attention to your loved ones. You'll score points with her by showing her that you can give her the attention that you need.

2 - Women have a different idea about emotional support than men. If you want to get your ex girlfriend back, you need to figure out what she's looking for in terms of emotional support. She needs more than simply verbal affirmations, so buy her something nice to show her that you care about her. This is a great way to get the ball rolling when you want to get your ex girlfriend back.

3 - This shouldn't bear repeating, but apparently it's necessary: Don't cheat on her! Even if she's cheated on you, or she's been cheated on before, cheating on her will not help you get your ex girlfriend back. If you like sleeping with different women, you don't deserve to get your ex girlfriend back, so don't even bother.

4 - If you want to get your ex girlfriend back and you still live with her, show her you can help her keep the place nice. Pitch in with the housework and participate as much as you can to show her that you know how to be responsible and that you know how to show your love for her.

When you are ready to get your ex girlfriend back, know that the process is not difficult. It may require some basic life changes, however, because you need to be mature and responsible, and you need to know how to show your love for her. Be loving, caring, responsible and respectful, and you may just get your ex girlfriend back after all.

Merry Christmas to all readers ( who celebrate X'Mas)

2009-12-25T03:21:00.000-08:00

Make Love Letters at getmyspacecomments.com

Surviving A Breakup-Difficult But Doable

2009-12-23T04:10:00.000-08:00

A breakup is a difficult thing to deal with, and it is hard on you and your ex. There are a great number of hurt emotions and feelings, and the act of surviving a breakup will involve a great deal of personal strength. This task may seem daunting, especially with a big void in your chest. You cannot easily fill that void with anything, it is that painful and difficult to handle. What you should consider, however, is that you are not the first couple to break up and you will not be the last. You should take solace in that you and your partner will survive and will be moving forward.

When you are faced with the task of trying to surviving a breakup, there are a number of tips which will lead you towards surviving the breakup. The first step is to not bottle up the pain. One cannot go through life without pain. Breaking up with a loved one is emotionally the same as the death of one. You should know that you will be hurt and that it is okay to break down a little and cry as needed. You should write down stuff, you should scream, you should do whatever is needed to let all of the pain out and move on.

Once you have reached a clear and calm state, you are now ready to evaluate things and try and find out where you and your partner are in the relationship. Knowing where you are will allow you and yours to make the right decision. More times than not, you will find that the relationship is truly over. This is something that you and your ex partner needs to come to terms with. Once you are at terms with things, you take the next step.

When you have come to the decision not to let the relationship continue, you and your ex needs to remove the overlaps in your lives. This includes property that you two have exchanged and are left at the other's home. This sort of negotiation and separation is to ensure that nothing is left as an emotional landmine later on in your lives. Once the two of you have completely separated, then what you should do is to perform a finalizing ritual. This is a symbolic event which will involve letting an effigy of your ex go, via destroying it or some other task. You could burn one of their letters, their photo, throw away their leftovers, and delete their files off your computer and so on. This symbolic gesture is for your benefit.

At this point, you should use whatever support that is available to you. This can be friends, family, and other loved ones that can provide an emotional support net for you. Even though you have done what you can to soften the blow of the break up, you will still face turbulence. As a result you will need all of the help you can get as you are surviving a breakup.

Help save my marriage from failing....

2009-12-20T03:15:00.000-08:00

How to save marriage from failing after a disastrous ad catastrophic event has taken place may seem like a hard thing to do, but it can be done. There are many times when something horrible has happened in the life of a couple that the stress ends up being too much to bear. These are times it is important to know how to save marriage.

The need to know how to save marriage can come as a result of something in the marriage or relationship falling apart as the two struggle to deal with what has happened. Many times it happens after the death of a loved one or especially a child. Sometimes it will happen after a wreck. Maybe it was because of some natural disaster or an act of hatred by some unknown entity. It could be because of illness to one of you or anything else that happened that caused your world to fall apart.

There are some very important things that are how to save marriage from ending you need to know. You need to understand that people act and react differently to events. The most obvious is the differences between how men and women typically deal with things. Some people repress feelings while others are more outward and more obvious in their grieving. Understanding this and accepting it will help go a long way in knowing how to save marriage. Don't expect your loved one to react the same way that you do.

Another thing that you need to know is that grief many times rings out the worse in people and negative traits are often exaggerated. Patience is needed in understanding why some very negative changes take place in their personalities. You have to be able to see those changes taking place in yourself. Don't excuse the behavior and don't let harmful behaviors ruin things more but understand what is happening.

In both of the above marriage counseling is needed. Marriage counselors will usually be very adept at helping couples struggling through these times. Whether it is a Christian marriage or any other, there are places and people you can go to that will help you and the one you love get through this.

Here are some suggestions for other things that will help you get through this time:

~ Commit to each other that you are going to get through this together. Be a team fully supporting each other and understanding each other. When one is particularly weak at one point, be there. Find for them and help shoulder the load. Ask that the same be done for you.

~ Grow your support team. Find close friends and family that will help you through this. There is no reason that the two of you should go through this around. Find a network or a group of people who have gone through similar things. There is strength in numbers.

~ Find a reason to laugh again. Watch a silly sitcom on TV or some stupid funny movie. Watch one of those funny home movie shows for some good laughs. Spend time with fun loving people who you have a good time with Laughing will make you feel better and gives you a break from the weight you carry.

When you have suffered greatly, it doesn't mean that the marriage has to come to an end. It can be made stronger if you are serious about finding how to save marriage.

I Still Love My Ex ....

2009-12-16T03:09:00.000-08:00

If you are finding yourself saying, “I still love my ex”, then you have to figure out what you want to happen next. It is only natural for there to be some residual love hanging around. After all, the two of you shared some special times together and were able to get close. The closeness and love is not easily broken completely. Does the love that is still there mean that you want to get back the one you love? When you say, “I still love my ex” what does that mean?

When someone says “I still love my ex” it is a really good sign because, first of all, it means that there was some love there to begin with. That love was a gift that isn't easily taken away. There will still be a fondness there and there will be a lot to remember from the marriage or relationship. Much of it will be good memories. Just because there is love still lingering doesn't mean that you are bound to get back together or that it should even happen. You do need to be asking yourself, “I still love my ex, but do I want my ex back?” If you look at it closely and with a chance to step back and ponder it, you will be more able to see if the two of you are meant to be together.

If you have been able to figure out that your statement, “I still love my ex” is due to just a remaining fondness then don't feel any need to push it in one direction or another. Just go with the flow. What will happen is that the two of you will either drift away or you will remain friends for a long time. That could be something special on it's own and something few have. Good friends are hard to find.

If, by saying, “I still love my ex”, you mean that you want to get back together with them then you have to be willing to do some work. You need to first see if the other person has an interest in getting back together with you. This will happen naturally because, like with the above advice, it will happen naturally. Just don't push it one way or the other and you will tell if the feeling is mutual. When the two of you decide that you want to try again, be ready to work.

If this was a marriage that failed, seek marriage counseling. No matter what kind of relationship it was, though, seek relationship advice from someone trained to do so who can help the two of you build back stronger what had fallen apart. Obviously there were mistakes made and the two of you were incapable of handling it on your own. If you had been getting counseling before, find someone different to get it from. The two of you will need a fresh start and someone that will help the two of you make the relationship stronger.

If you find yourself saying “Help! I still love my ex!” there isn't any need to panic. Just let things take their course naturally at first and then seek help to get it on the right path. The momentum you two make on your own will make the guidance easier. Before you know it, you won't be saying, “I love my ex,” but you will be saying “I'm in love!”

Why and When Do Marriages Go Bad?

2009-12-11T04:11:00.000-08:00

I’m not sure who is more shocked when a marriage goes bad, the couple who started off so in love and looking forward towards their future together or the couple’s friends and relatives who looked up to them as been the perfect couple and role model for others in relationships.

However, marriages going bad can happen to anyone and it can sneak up on a loving and committed couple as quickly as it can for an incompatible and dysfunctional couple.

So that leads to three common questions for couples:

1. Why do marriages go bad?
2. When do marriages go bad?
3. Is there anything that can be done to either prevent or reverse the downfall of a relationship?

All three questions can be answered by examining the following Three Major Negative Benchmarks that can occur in a relationship:

1) Taking Each Other For Granted: A marriage can take a downwards turn when a couple starts taking each other for granted.

They get used to their routines and activities of daily life, they are busy, being pulled in many different directions as well as stressed and tired.

The couple doesn’t realize or have never been told about the importance of keeping each other’s relationship, love and respect for each other as the center focus and anchor of their lives together.

If they don’t put their relationship front and center they will get whisked off by external factors and lulled by the inertia of the familiar interactions between the two of them.

Eventually it is like being strangers living in the same home together who don’t even bother to think of the other person anymore.

So the easy solution is to start focusing on each other again. Start doing activities together alone that focus on one another, start going on full out dates, (flowers, gifts, dinner, leave the house and pick your spouse up even though you live together.)

Do things to show appreciation for your partner, in the ways that your partner would feel appreciated and don’t forget to be spontaneous – whether that is out of the blue for no reason telling your partner you love him/her or surprise him/her with a gift - just do something you normally don’t do to breathe some new life into the monotony of daily living.

2) Great Dividers of Love: In many of our books including our Counsellor in a Box Home Study Program (www.counsellorinabox.com ) we talk about what we call the Great Dividers of Love.

The Great Dividers of Love are a build-up of emotions such as resentment, judgment, disappointment and loss of respect that cause couples to shutdown their love towards their partner.

When love is shutdown in a relationship, a couple loses their connection, their intimacy and what holds their relationship together.

The result is you will get an emotionally shutdown couple who really doesn’t care for each other anymore and have nothing to inspire them to keep their relationship alive.

So as a couple or individually each partner needs to release and heal all the emotions that have built up so the love, which is still alive deep down underneath can resurface and breathe again.

3) Toxicity and Deficiency Overload: If a couple is not completely compatible and if they do not have relationship training or what we call at our LMC Relationship Centre “Relationship Mastery” as well as if each member of the couple has dysfunctional behaviors caused by unresolved past wounds and experiences – the relationship is going to be full of toxicities and deficiencies.

Simply put - toxicities are things in your relationship that you don’t want and deficiencies are things that you want and you are not getting in your relationship.

A relationship that has a lot of toxicities and deficiencies can only be resilient for so long, then they will become overloaded.

The couple will either then start to destruct the relationship, self-destruct or start to avoid each other because of all the negative conditioning built-up from all the toxicity and deficiency.

If a car hasn’t had an oil change for a long time, the build-up in the oil will cause the car to stop functioning properly and eventually break down.

If a car runs out of oil, the car will stop functioning.

When it comes to our car, we know or someone else will tell us that we have to deal with the “toxicities” (oil change) or deficiencies (need to put in more oil) or our car isn’t going to run.

Our relationships isn’t any different, eventually the relationship isn’t going to work anymore unless the toxicities and deficiencies are dealt with.

Unfortunately most people are not aware of that and no one tells them in such a straightforward manner as the attendant at the gas station who says “Hey would you like an oil change or would you like me to fill up your oil?

Systems have been developed to deal with oil in your car.

The goods news is that systems have also been developed for dealing with your toxicities and deficiencies in your relationship.

The first step is awareness.

The next step is finding these systems, such as our Counsellor in a Box Home Study Program (www.counsellorinabox.com ) that includes learning how to heal past wounds and release emotions, learning basic relationship mastery skills like how to have functional communication, conflict resolution and negotiation, as well as how to fill in compatibility gaps so everyone can get their needs met in the relationship.

So when you deal with these major benchmarks in your relationship, the turning point can be reversed - what was once a marriage in a negative downwards spiral will now be a marriage on a positive upwards spiral towards a functional, healthy and happy relationship.

Win Back A Love Of A Lifetime

2009-12-09T02:48:00.000-08:00

Wanting to win back a love is understandable. There are those moments in life that are so perfect but then, for some reason, gets taken away. You spend your days following that wondering, “what if…”. It doesn’t matter what the reason was for the two of you going separate ways, in your mind it was a mistake. There is a chance that the love that you lost could be feeling the same way. They could be wondering how to win back a love of a lifetime as well.

It is the stuff that great stories are made of. Two love struck souls who crossed paths once upon a time separated by circumstances beyond their control. Both spending years thinking about that moment that is burned forever on their memories. Both longing for what was and wishing that it could be again.

If you are at a point in time where you are alone and have failed in relationships since then, it could very well be that the one you dream of is supposed to be with you. Don’t just sit around and reminisce, do something about it. If you don’t know where they are now, find them. There are many things that you can do to find them. Use the resources you have available to win back a love.

Once you have located them, it gets tricky. To win back a love, you first need to find out their situation. The best thing to do is to write a letter or get a message to them saying that you were going through some old things and ran across something that reminded you of them. Just let them know that you were curious about them and ask what is going on.

Let them know a little about your situation. Whatever you do, don’t let them know that you are in the hunt. You need to make it seem like your only interest is mild curiosity. If they are involved with someone and are happy, you don’t want to mess that up. It could be that the image of that perfect romance was just an illusion, which it very well could be. You still have to know about them.

If it seems that they are available and you aren’t going to be infringing on anyone’s turf, feel free to strike up a friendship. Let the friendship go along naturally. Don’t force anything.

After you have been corresponding for a little time, instead of asking for their phone number (if you don’t have it already), give them yours and say, “Feel free to call anytime”. Doing it this way takes the pressure off the situation. If they want to talk to you, you will know.

You may find yourself moving from a friendship type relationship to a stronger type of bond before too long. Seeing each other in person will come naturally if it is supposed to. It won’t take much time for you to find if they are still the one you love and if the feeling is mutual. It could take a little time so you have to be patient. If something does happen, congratulations! You have found it is possible to win back a love of a lifetime.

How Can A Jerk Get Woman Back ?

2009-12-06T02:44:00.000-08:00

If you are trying to get woman back, but you were a jerk to her, you may not deserve her. That may not be what you want to hear but it may very well be the truth. It is good that you recognize that you may have had a problem but what are you going to do about it and why should she want you back? Until you figure those things out you may not get woman back.

Here’s what you need to do to get woman back:

1) Change the way you look at women. If you consider them property then you do not deserve a chance. View them as people deserving of respect and do your best to give it to them and you might have a chance. To love women you need to respect women.

2) Change the way you treat women. Chivalry is not dead. Be a gentleman and treat them as queens. If you can pull this off your chances improve. Be subtle about it and try not to draw attention. You don’t want to look like you are faking it. They will notice. Women are smart like that and if she doesn’t notice she will have a friend notice and tell her. Your credibility may be shot.

3) Learn humility. This will go a long way towards helping you get woman back.

4) Let her know that you were a jerk. If she tells you that you were, just agree with her. If she exaggerates, or it seems like she is, remember that to her she isn’t. The only person’s opinion that matters is hers if your goal is to get woman back. You’re selling and you’re trying to get her to buy. The customer is always right.

5) Find out if she wants some space or if she wants you to come begging and then give her what she wants. This will be a tough thing to do. You may have to ask around to people who know her well. She may even think that your efforts to try out are worth giving you a second thought.

6) Try and convince her friends that you are changed. You will have to do this first. They will be skeptical of you and will be most interested in protecting their friend that you hurt. If you can win her friends then you have won the major part of the battle. If you try and get ex back first, you will have trouble convincing her and even if you do, they may talk her out of it. Do you want her trusted friends for you or against you?

7) Don’t tell her that you have changed, show her. Words are great but it doesn’t mean anything unless there is some action to back it up. You need more than words.

8) Think about the long term and if you are going to be able to make this change permanent. If you can’t then you are going to end up in the same place you are now but only with a smaller chance to get woman back.

Why Do I Want My Ex Back

2009-12-03T02:37:00.000-08:00

“Why do I want My ex back?” has been the cry of many who have been unable to let go of a love that has past them by. It is an understandable question to ask. Common sense tells you that you need to move on. Most of your closest friends are hoping that you would. Your ex most likely is wishing that you could move on as well. So why is it that you have to keep asking yourself, “Why do I want my ex back?”

When you are asking, “Why do I want my ex back?” consider what has just happened. You were in a love relationship of some kind, may be a marriage. It may have lasted a long time or only a short time but in either case, you had a lot invested in it. It is hard to let go of things and ideas that you may have been really attached to.

Most people do not enter into relationships lightly. They go into them hoping for something that will last a long time and just want love. You have dreams of the way that things could be. You have an idea of the way things should be. For some reason it doesn't happen. The bubble bursts on your idea and then you are left hanging on. It made such good and almost perfect sense at the time and then it is gone. You have to adjust to the idea that what you saw isn't there anymore if it was at all.

Was it love or just the idea of being in love? The lines get so confusing sometimes. Was the love ever there? It is very likely that it was at one point. The only problem was that it wasn't permanent. The two of you became incredibly important parts of each other. You get used to having certain things or people attached to you and when they are gone your mind may have trouble adjusting.

There are those who have lost limbs who still feel a phantom itch in the appendage that is now gone. There are still brain cells that are telling you that what isn't there itches and there isn't a thing you can do about it unless you retrain your brain.

The same thing is true for those who were intimately attached to someone, whether it was romantic or platonic in nature. If those people are removed for some reason, those parts of your brain that had grown accustomed to that loved one being there will have to adjust. While your brain is adjusting to the change, you are left thinking about them almost against your will.

If you are frustrated because you keep asking yourself, “Why do I want my ex back?” don't get too distraught over it. It may help you to get some advice on how to get over a relationship from someone who has been there or who understands and has helped others. It is only natural that you will have trouble with it and “want my ex back.” Give it some time, get some help, and get distracted and in time you will no longer be asking, “Why do I want my ex back?”

Relationships Sites Good Vs Bad Advice

2009-11-30T02:25:00.000-08:00

The Internet is filled with relationships sites that offer advice, tips and articles about good and bad relationships. Some are designed for those who are new in a relationship while others are for those who have had a break up and are now making up and trying to work it out. Can these relationships sites really help you heal your relationship?

If you take the information in them and apply it, it can certainly help. There are certain types of advice that are better than others, obviously. And some relationships sites are designed to get you to buy something, with articles that really don’t even make much sense.

Avoid those sites that are too cutesy to be useful, with quizzes and articles about things like how to trick your partner, how to cheat and not get caught, and things like that. Those aren’t for people in serious relationships, or they’re just for humor.

But sites that offer good advice can be very helpful. Very often there will be message boards and forums where other people reading the same information can interact. Testimonials about how the site helped might be available.

Be sure to take those testimonials with a grain of salt, however. Some relationships sites make them up, or have other people make them up, just to look better or sell you something.

The sites that have been put up by actual relationship experts like those who have written extensively on the subject are usually best. If they counsel people in healing relationships and have some popular books, they’re at least trying to offer useful information.

But there are sites that aren’t put out by experts that can contain gold mines, too. Some might have question and answer pages or even advice columns. It can often be helpful to read about other people’s situations. This lets you see what other people did while seeing if the advice might apply to your situation, too.

Relationships sites that guarantee they can save your relationships or marriage might not be great ones. If you’ve broken up and are now back together, you know how hard it is. And for any site or person to say that your relationship can definitely be saved is deceptive.

Without knowing your particular situation, no one should ever make that promise. And in fact, even with knowing your situation in detail, there’s no guarantee that anything can make absolutely sure that everything will work out all right.

The most any websites or even experts can do is give you the tools to try. You can get advice that will give you the best possible chance of making the relationship work this time. Then it’s up to you to use the information to make it happen.

Sites that have a lot of absolute statements, like how something will make him do a certain thing or think a certain way, aren’t being realistic. Look for relationships sites that admit not everything will work just as planned, as the advice in them will be much more practical.

Overcoming Your Relationship Breakup: STOP, Don't Go!

2009-11-26T01:43:00.000-08:00

It’s over. Your loved one is saying that they’re going to leave. They’re packing up their stuff and are ready to move to a new place. How do you stop the breakup from happening?

How do you get things back to the way they were? How do you get your loved one to unpack their bags at home instead of somewhere else? There are a lot of ways to deal with such a situation — a lot of things you should, and shouldn’t, do.

1) The “Shouldn’ts”

Women tend to beg when their loved one is on the verge of leaving. I can remember, in minute detail (unfortunately), the way I begged my ex to not leave our apartment. I literally got down on my knees and grabbed him to stop him from leaving.

Did you notice I said “ex”? The first time I did this, it did work and he didn’t leave. We talked through our differences and were able to stay together for another couple of months. Then, once again, he prepared to leave. I pulled my stunt and guess what? He left anyway.

Our relationship was officially over. Your first instinct as a woman may be to beg and plead, but it just belittles you and generally doesn’t work on your loved one.

Don’t try to make your loved one jealous. Some people go out and make new “friends” in an effort to make their significant other jealous enough to not leave. Most of the time, this doesn’t work, either. Instead of making the spouse jealous, it may give them the final push they need to leave for good. A slight bit of jealousy can give a relationship a spark, but not if it’s already on a downswing.

2) The “Shoulds”

The first thing you should do is step back, breathe, and give your loved one some room. If they feel hemmed in, they’re not going to want to stay with you. Remember the old saying “You catch more flies with honey than vinegar?”

In giving them what they want, you are respecting their time and are giving yourself time to cool down, as well. In the heat of the argument, things are often said aren’t meant by either party. Time alone gives you the chance to breathe and to move onto the next step.

Step two involves figuring out what’s really going on in the relationship. Why does your loved one want to break up? Have you been fighting recently? Are all the fights about the same thing, or are they about random things?

If all the fights are about the same thing, then you already know what you have to work on. If they are about random things, there is probably some underlying argument simmering below the surface that hasn’t been discussed. Work on trying to figure out what that is.

Approach your loved one and calmly ask them what their biggest problem with the relationship is. Sometimes their answer will give you the direction that you should move in next.

3) Ch-ch-ch-changes

Everybody changes; it’s a fact of life! Who you are when you’re a senior in high school is not who you’ll be when you’re 30. Who you are now may not be who you are in a few months.

This is often why relationships start to fall apart: you feel as though you don’t know the person you’re with anymore. Make some time to get to know each other again! Spend time together doing simple things: walking, talking, sitting in the park feeding the birds.

Do things together that require that you are both alone together. You could go to a movie, but you really can’t talk well there. The best thing to do is to find something you can do that allows you to communicate with each other.

Open yourself up to your partner. Sometimes we focus so much on what we want that we neglect to think of how our partner is feeling. Often, if you try to see things through their point of view, you will find that you are much more empathetic to their feelings. You can see their side of the argument, and if you can do that, then you can fix it.

Strong relationships are fixable, and it’s always better to try to stop a breakup before it happens than to try to fix it after it’s been broken. After all, you can always fix a crack in a vase, but it’s a lot more difficult to find all of the pieces once it’s broken.

"The Complete Retrieve A Lover Package" Can Help You Bring More Love, Understanding and Passion Into Your Relationship and Personal Live Today. Discover How You Can Save Your Relationship and Stop Your Break-ups today Without All The Fear And Heartache! Read ALL the RAVE REVIEWS!

What To Do When Your Bad Habits Are Ruining Your Marriage

2009-11-21T01:32:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, bad marriages happen to good people. Okay, that's not a fair statement - just because you're having problems, that doesn't mean that your marriage is "bad."

Any number of things can contribute to relationship difficulties - boredom, time issues, the stress of raising children, and money troubles can all contribute to marital troubles.

It's common for people to feel dissatisfied after awhile. You see this person every day, brushing their teeth, clearing their throat, dropping their dirty underwear on the floor, telling the same jokes over and over and over. It's only natural to feel that the magic is gone.

There's no mystery left, and suddenly it seems like everything you do annoys your spouse! Gritting your teeth and putting up with each other just makes you feel trapped, as if you made a terrible mistake and you're doomed to spend the rest of your life with the wrong person.

But when you got married, you vowed to stick it out for better or worse, meaning that you promised to do the work necessary to make your marriage thrive. And don't kid yourself - marriage takes a lot of work. But it's worth the effort, if you're willing to do what needs to be done.

1) Those awful things you do

It's often said that you can't change other people - you can only change yourself. And that's absolutely true.

You can certainly share with your spouse what it is about them that's driving you crazy, but they have to make the commitment to make those changes themselves. In the meantime, what about you? Are you perfect? Be honest. Aren't there a few things that you do that irritate your spouse?

Maybe you don't realize that your habits are annoying. Or maybe you're so used to hearing your spouse complain that it doesn't even register anymore!

Here's a short list of annoying behaviors' take a look and see if you're guilty of any of the following:

a) Picking your nose/scratching intimate areas in public
b) Laughing at your own jokes
c) Leaving wet towels on the floor
d) Asking your spouse if you look fat
e) Criticizing your spouse in public
f) Speaking in baby talk
g) Burping and/or passing gas.
h) Using the last of an item (toilet paper, milk, bread) and not replacing it
i) Not picking up after yourself
j) Making up stories to make yourself look better
k) Putting your feet on the furniture
l) Laughing too loudly
m) Taking too long to shower or leave the house
n) Spending too much time on the computer
o) Talking about old lovers in front of your spouse
p) Being bossy or nagging when you could be kind, instead
q) Never volunteering to do chores around the house
2) Make a change for the better

First of all, you have to understand that everyone does things that irritate their spouse. And that you can change those behaviors if you want to - saying that an old dog can't learn new tricks or "I'm just set in my ways" is a cop-out, and simply a justification so that you can keep on doing those irritating things. So knock off the excuses, admit that you need to make some improvements, and make the choice to fix what's wrong.

You have to be willing to acknowledge that your behavior is hurting your marriage. Talk to your spouse about how your irritating habits - and your refusal to change them - has made your spouse feel. Odds are good that they'll tell you that it makes them feel like to you don't care about their feelings.

So assure them that you do, indeed, care, and get your spouse to help you brainstorm ways to change your annoying behaviors. In many cases, you can find a middle ground where the two of can compromise - for example, I found that my partner hated it when I left dirty laundry on the floor, but didn't mind so much that I always forgot to replace the toilet paper roll. So I negotiated a sort of amnesty where the toilet paper was concerned while promising to put my dirty clothes in the hamper. Remember, marriage is about compromise!

Let your mate know that you need positive reinforcement for making changes. An occasional "I'm proud of you" or "thanks for doing that" will go a long way towards encouraging you to keep up with the new behavior. Many people also find that replacing a bad habit with a good one is easier than just stopping cold turkey, so try and find something pleasant to replace the old behavior.

And don't be so hard on yourself if you slip up occasionally. We're all flawed, and we all make mistakes. If your marriage is suffering because of your bad habits, just the fact that you're willing to admit your flaws and work to fix them will make a huge difference - because it shows how much you care!

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Get Your Partner To Agree To Relationship Counseling

2009-11-17T21:56:00.000-08:00

Relationship counseling is often a last resort for couples on the brink of the divorce. But some couples try counseling early on when the first problems rear their heads. Counseling is certainly something that a couple shouldn’t be afraid to try, even if the problems are relatively minor. Often, catching small problems early with counseling can prevent bigger problems down the road. Early counseling can even something prevent a future divorce.

Today’s couples seem more eager to try to new things, which makes counseling a good option. Couples married years ago seem less likely to go for counseling or try new approaches, perhaps because it wasn’t something commonly done when they were younger. Very often marriages of 30 or 40 years now end in divorce, which is a shame because they’ll never know if relationship counseling could have helped save the marriage.

If you feel like you need relationship counseling, be sure to as your partner to go to counseling with you in a non-judgmental way. If you ask him or her to go to counseling in such a way as it seems like you are accusing them of being the problem and needing counseling, you’re likely to encounter resistance to the idea. Try to make it clear that you want the counseling for yourself if nothing else.

If you ask your partner to go to counseling because you have some issues you need to work on, they’re more likely to view the idea favorably. Explain that you think you need some help to be able to contribute more to the relationship, and to learn how to be a better partner or spouse. Don’t accuse the other person of need counseling. Even if you believe that they are most of the problem, don’t say so. Once you’re in relationship counseling, they will learn tips and techniques for being better within the relationship, just as you will.

Don’t be afraid to suggest relationship counseling, whether you’ve been in the relationship for 3 months, 3 years or two decades. It’s never too late to try counseling to resolve problems. And it’s never too late to try to keep small problems from becoming big ones. If the relationship is relatively new, you might think that you’re admitting to problems and admitting that the relationship is rocky by suggesting counseling. But that’s not true. But facing any obstacles now, you’re making the relationship stronger in the long run.

If your partner believes that your suggestion of relationship counseling means that the relationship isn’t perfect, and maybe even is doomed, calmly explain that that isn’t true. Just because you’re willing to admit that everything is perfect shows that you’re willing to make necessary changes to keep the other person and yourself happy.

If your partner refuses, go on your own. While the counseling would work best if both of you go, you can go and work on things to improve yourself. If your partner sees you going to relationship counseling, they’re more likely to give it a try.

Heartbroken Poem To Help You Heal

2009-11-13T21:53:00.000-08:00

If you’ve ever been through a sad break-up with someone you’ve love, you may have written a heartbroken poem. You may have even written such a poem for things like the loss of a pet or a family member, sadness at moving away from your friends, or any number of sad life events. But it seems nothing inspires such sad poetry as a break-up or divorce. Just as few things inspire love poetry quite like being in a happy, loving relationship.

Poetry is an excellent medium for self-expression. Unless you’re writing poetry with the hope of having it published one day, you can write poetry however you like. It doesn’t have to be good poetry. You don’t have to understand any of the poetic terms or conventions like rhyme, meter or free verse. You don’t even have to have ever read a really good poem in your life to write a heartbroken poem that can help you feel better and maybe help you heal from the pain of a break-up.

An important early step in getting over a break-up or any sad situation is simply facing the pain. While it might feel better to avoid dealing with the reality of the situation, you can’t really move past it without facing it and feeling the pain, at least for a while. So facing up to whatever painful situation is happening is necessary. A heartbroken poem can help you deal with those painful feelings when you’ve split with someone you love.

Don’t worry about whether it’s good or not. No one else ever has to read your heartbroken poem. It’s for you and you alone. Just write down your feelings, as hard as that may be. You can write in plain language. Don’t try to imitate the poets of the 17th and 18th century. Write like you talk, and break the lines where it feels natural to you. In fact, you can start by writing one huge paragraph filled with all your feelings and everything you want to express, just to get it out. Then you can go back and arrange your thoughts and feelings into a poem.

Once you’ve written a heartbroken poem, you might want to write more about different parts of the pain. That’s good. Get down everything you can, and that will help you to face the pain. Writing the poetry will probably be a very emotional time for you. Don’t try to stop it. Just let the pain out and you’ll be better able to move on.

If you decide you want to share your heartbroken poem, you can show family or friends. Or if you want to share it but not with anyone you know, you can put it online. There are websites designed just for such things. You can upload your poetry for free and let other people know if you want to receive criticism or not. You might opt to not receive comments on your heartbroken poem and just enjoy the fact that you’ve shared your experience.

How a 5-step plan will get your Ex back..... fast !

2009-11-09T20:31:00.000-08:00

Do any of these situations fit in with what you’re feeling?

* you have trouble getting out of bed and doing normal day to day things?
* do you have trouble eating?
* are you having trouble sleeping?
* have you started to isolate yourself from your friends and family?

These are pretty normal reactions after a break up that affect your day to day life….BUT you may also be doing a few things that are really damaging the chance of you getting back together with your ex.

Have you done any of these things recently or in the past:

* begged your ex for a second chance
* bombarded them with desperate text messages
* turned up at places where you know they’d be at
* bombarded them with phone calls that are bordering on harassment
* are you driving yourself nuts over-analyzing things in your head day and night?

I don’t want you to feel bad, ashamed or embarrassed if you’ve done ANY of those things because it’s perfectly normal for you to do those things.

You know why?

Because you’re really hurting and you really love that person and just want to totally erase the break up and just get back together and be happy with them.

I mean, we all learn a hell of a lot of school but wouldn’t you have liked to have learnt about relationships……about falling in love, and then breaking up (without falling apart)?

Yeah, that’d be pretty valuable stuff I reckon but it’s one of those important things – like money handling – that kids aren’t taught at school.

Break ups are really really tough…they’re tough on the one that’s dumped but I reckon they’re also pretty tough on the one who does the dumping too in most cases (so don’t think your ex has gotten off scott free because they haven’t either).

Now... here's SOLUTION ! It’s 5 steps really….

Step 1 – You’re gonna learn the right way to handle your break up, no matter when it happened.

Step 2 – You’re gonna learn the fastest way to heal after your break up….See, if you don’t heal then even if you got back together you probably wouldn’t last long anyway, know what I mean?

Step 3 – This phase is really critical – this where you start to reconnect with your ex and set the stage for getting back together.

Step 4 – This phase is everyone’s favourite of course – the reconciliation phase. Here’s where you leave your ex with no choice but to say “yes” to getting back together.

Step 5 - This is probably the most important of all – you’ve gotten back together, this phase will teach you how to stay together for good and leave the past where it belongs – in the past!

Download the FREE Report on The Get Ex Back System and End Your Misery And Get Your Ex Back ! Download below - Click the ebook cover :

How can I Get my Ex Back with a Confident Attitude

2009-11-05T21:33:00.000-08:00

Although a breakup with a boyfriend or with a girlfriend can be really depressing, it does not need to mean that the relationship is over. Even if the breakup should suddenly leave you feeling confusion and loneliness, you may still feel really eager to heal the wounds and jump right back in to that relationship with your ex. If you are asking yourself "How can I get my ex back?", then there are some things you need to know. If you learn how to react following a break up, and you become aware of how not to strain the relationship even further, then getting ex back will be easier than ever.

It can seem hard to keep up a cheerful attitude throughout your day following a breakup, but it is believed by relationship experts believe that an optimistic and confident attitude can go a long way. Here are some of the ways that a confident attitude can answer the question "how can I get my ex back?"

Keep your confidence - If you are asking "how can I get my ex back?", then you should remain confident. Rather than going around feeling gloomy, try to find ways that you can keep yourself occupied and happy. Keep the depression out of your demeanor. Allow your ex boyfriend or girlfriend to know that you are strong and that you are more than capable of handling such an emotional situation, and also that you are capable of surviving on your own as well.

Remain socially active - If getting your ex back is your primary focus, surround yourself with well wishers, positive attitudes and good friends. Show your ex that people appreciate you, and that they love having you around. As more people begin to feel good about your presence in their lives, your ex will begin to see you in a completely new light. He or she will realize that yes, you are a good person that they simply cannot afford to let go of. This is one of the best ways to let your ex notice you in a new light.

Maintain a good appearance - Another solution to "How can I get my ex back?" is not to let your appearance reflect your situation. You need to pay attention to every detail of your looks, including your clothes, your make up, your hair, your stride, your shoes and even your voice. It can be hard to act happy or to take care of yourself following a bad breakup, but this is one of the best ways that you can let your ex know that you are doing just fine, and do not need to beg for his or her sympathy. You are going to get back together like adults who are mature and responsible if you are going to get back together at all.

My marriage is falling apart ..

2009-10-28T18:13:00.000-07:00

“Help save marriage from falling apart!” comes the cry from many who see their marriage sinking quickly. You have been watching the ship you are on sinking but haven't figured out what to do to stop it. If you aren't ready to see your marriage sink into the abyss, you need help save marriage advice. You need an S.O.S. You need to learn to sacrifice for you

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r marriage, you have to learn to open up and communicate, and you have to learn to simplify your lives so things aren't so complicated.

Sacrifice:

Many times those who are wanting help save marriage are really more interested in trying to get the other person to fix their problems. If you are looking at the other person as the root of the problem, take a close look at yourself. It may very well be that the other person is causing all the problems but you need to make sure that you aren't making matters worse.

Most of the time marriages fall apart because one or both of the people start getting selfish and feel that the world revolves around them. The truth is that if that is your perspective, the marriage is doomed. The two of you are supposed to be as one and this can not be if you are only looking out for #1. You have to be able to sacrifice parts of yourself for the existence of the marriage. It takes the two of you realizing that if you want to be as one, you may have to sacrifice yourself. The choice is simple, live as one or live as two people.

Open Up:

There is a tendency that many people have to bottle things up when we are stressed. This isn't healthy for any individual and it especially isn't healthy for a marriage. When contents are under pressure for too long and that pressure grows, things are likely going to build up too much. When thing build up too much they may reach the point that there is an explosion.

There may have been firecrackers going off when the two of you first kissed. It is nothing like the Nuclear Bomb that could go off when you have let things stay bottled up for two long in a marriage. The longer you wait to bring resolution or to communicate problems, the bigger the explosion will be. You need to open up a bit to take off the pressure and help save marriage.

Simplify:
We have a tendency to make things a lot more complicated than what they need to be. We make big issues out of little ones and mountains out of mole hills. Blowing things out of proportion is something that many who need help save marriage will do that makes things worse than they need to be.

Consider what it is that you really need to have in a mate. What is it you really need to exist. Try and simplify it as much as possible. Stop looking at all the details and try to find the root of the problems.

Are you making too many demands? Are you being too picky about how you think things should be? Are you expecting too much?

Take a step back and consider that you may be making things more complicated than they need to be. Simplify and you just may be able to help save marriage.

The Ex Back System – A Highly Recommended Product

2009-10-28T00:39:00.000-07:00

Breaking up is one of the most painful experiences in anyone’s love life and the process.

Whatever manner or cause your breakup may be, you can still win your ex back by treading a careful path and making the right moves. Nothing is really impossible if you set a good plan and follow through.

The Important Steps to Take

First and foremost, you have to look after yourself. People tend to fall apart when they first break up with someone.

You can do things much better (including getting your ex back) if you are in a healthy frame of mind. Always keep in mind that there is a right way and a wrong way to do everything. There is a way to get your ex back if you follow the right techniques that have been proven to work.

Having a plan is a vital key if your want to get your ex back. You can’t just jump right in without even thinking about what you are going to do. You only have one shot at this so it’s important that you don’t mess it up.

The Ex Back System

The Ex Back System by Brian H. Bold after he went through a painful breakup himself. Brian experienced the same feelings of devastation and hopelessness after breaking up. During that time, he was so determined to win back his ex that with the help of a friend, he came up with great ideas or tactics that can be used as tools to overcome his problem. The techniques developed were so successful that in the end he decided to publish and share his winning ideas to the public so that more people can get help in getting their ex-partners back.

He spent over a week putting his plans together, some of which were taken from the notes he took down while talking with his friend. Slowly but surely, he managed to develop a plan of action that have been proven most effective in helping scores of couples get back together after falling away.

The Five Parts of the Ex Back System

Brian Bold’s Ex Back System unleashes the power of five unique systems to get your ex back even if the situation appears hopeless.

In this system you will absolutely discover so many valuable lessons.

However, for the system to be more effective, you really need to invest more time, effort and a little determination to see things through and be 100 percent committed in getting back together.

The Ex Back System provides you with 5 vital stages that all start with ‘’re’’ which means repent or repair.

These five vital stages include the following :

* Recession
* Reconstruction
* Reconnection
* Reconciliation
* Resolution

These five vital stages are presented in a step by step format and in the right order without leaving anything vital and important out. This can help and guide you in getting your relationship back on track as soon as you possibly can.

Brian Bold came up with this system and the 5Rs when he discovered a very easy way to save relationships and bring couples together again. His researches and own personal experiences gave him a real understanding of the pain of breakups, how to cure that pain, and how to approach an ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend without causing further damage in the relationship.

The Effectiveness of the System

The creator itself presents the information in a down to earth and easy-to-read manner making the plan easier to apply in action. Through the Ex Back System you have a very high chance of saving your relationship, winning back your ex, and making it more magical and wonderful than it ever was.

The Ex Back System is so powerful that even if your partner is not willing, the system may work for you. In fact, there were some instances where the system worked even better if the partner was not willing to participate actively, or was not even committed to saving the relationship at all.

If you have broken up with the love of your life, no matter what reasons have led you to this painful experience, it is but natural that you would want your ex back – even if it feels that the situation is hopeless – you should check out The Ex Back System. Keep in mind that the system will work more effectively if done in the proper sequence and following the specific steps provided. The quality and content of Brian’s Ex Back System is extremely good, with many useful tips and techniques thrown in for good measure. If you do exactly the methods in the plan in exact order and go about things the right way, you will have the best chance possible of getting your ex back.

My Boyfriend Dumped Me...

2009-10-27T20:08:00.000-07:00

“I feel like dying because my boyfriend dumped me!” It isn't the end of the world and it isn't even close. Even though it hurts, it isn't going to kill you. This is something that you can and will get over. It will take some work, some help, some readjusting in the way you thi

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nk, and some time. Be sure that just because you are upset that “my boyfriend dumped me” doesn't mean that life stops, life goes on. Be ready for it.

Getting past the idea that “my boyfriend dumped me” isn't going to be easy but it also isn't going to be impossible. You are going to have to pick yourself up and dust yourself off and move along. The alternative means that you will be stuck wallowing in your own misery. If that is no life that you want to have then do what it takes to get out of it. It takes work to climb back out of the pit but the work is worth it.

Don't be afraid to ask for help but be careful where it is that you ask for it. If you are battling depression because of it, seek professional help. This doesn't mean that you are going crazy, depression is something that many people deal with so don't worry about people judging you. Do try to beat it, though.

It may be, though, that you have good friends or family that can help you out while you are trying to deal with that fact that “my boyfriend dumped me.” Be careful to not lay too much on these people, though, and when you ask for advice, follow it. If you are constantly complaining about your life and the situation but aren't following up on what advice is given, they are going to reach a point that you don't want. They are going to get tired of you and cut you off or seriously consider it.

You should also re-frame the way you look at the situation. Try looking at it from a different angle or perspective. While you may see it as the end of the world, from another person's perspective, it may not be. Try to find that other person's perspective. Try to see what good it is that you have to offer someone. What are your best qualities? For sure there is going to be someone out there who will appreciate them. Wait for them to come along.

While you are waiting, find some way to improve yourself. Find something that you have long dreamed about doing and throw your life into it. If there is something non-romantic that you have longed to achieve in life, pursue it. Do you want to make yourself better in anyway, now is the time to do it. Try to find someway to use this time and that negative energy you have and do something positive with it.

The end result will be a happier you. Once you have found that happiness, it will become magnetic and draw in the person that you dream of, the one that makes you smile and makes you feel like you belong. It will make you look back on this dark time in your life when you were crying because “my boyfriend dumped me” and see it as one of the best things that ever happened to you.

PULL It Together ..

2009-10-27T20:03:00.000-07:00

Those who want help save marriage from ending in divorce need to PULL it together. It is a hard thing to watch a marriage that was once so precious and important fall apart. It's heart breaking to sit by as the two of you start going your separate ways. If you don't want that to happen then do something about it. Pull it together to help save marriage.

Chill out

Take a moment to catch your breath and step back from the situation. Not necessarily take

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a break from it but to just calm down. It is easy for things to get over-heated. Take a moment to catch your breath and give it a moment to cool off. When you were young you were probably told to count to 10 when you got angry so that you could give yourself a chance to get yourself under control.

The same principle applies here. Before you do anything else, take a breath. The next time something is said to you that makes you mad, calm down, get a hold of yourself and then let go of your anger. Only then can you truly learn how to communicate and take the next step to help save marriage.

Understand what is happening

While you are “chilling out” and taking a moment to breathe, take a look at what is happening. This is where you try and look at the big picture and then look at things from other perspectives. From where you are standing at the moment things may look pretty bad. Try to look at it from other perspectives and it might not be as bad as you thought.

Try looking at it from an outsiders perspective and from the one you love. From those other perspectives you might find out why things have been getting out of control. There may be a relatively simple solution to help save marriage.

Laugh at yourselves

This doesn't mean to make light of the situation but it does mean don't take yourselves so seriously. It is easy to make mountains out of mole hills. Things snowball out of control but when you are able to see what it was that actually made the snowball you may end up laughing at it.

It can be hilarious to find out how a minuscule thing can turn into something so huge when it didn't have to. It can be hilarious if you are willing to let it be. Many times when people go through a rough time they will say, “Sometime we are going to look back at this and laugh!” Why wait?

Look for ways to improve

Once you have had a chance to step back and catch your breath and then been able to get some perspective on the situation, you can move on. When you have realized that at it's root, this situation or problems that you have been struggling with is really small and manageable you can get things on track.

The next thing that you need to do is commit yourself to finding a way to improve. If you are responsible for the little things that get blown out of proportion, then try stopping it. If you have learned that you overreact, then stop it. Improve the way you handle situations and everything else may just fall into place to help save marriage.

To help save marriage, PULL together and bring back what belongs together...the two of you.

Win Ex Boyfriend Back From That Girl !

2009-10-27T19:59:00.000-07:00

You want to win ex boyfriend back because he was yours and for some reason she has him now. If you believe that the two of you should be together then it is very likely that you are. But how are you going to do this? You have to play it smart and dignified if you are going to win

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ex boyfriend back.

She may want to play nasty to keep him away from you but if you get nasty right back then all you will be doing is feuding and you are too big for that. What you want to do is show him that you are more mature than she is and more like a real woman while that other girl is immature.

If your first instinct is to fight, suppress it. Rise above it. Gain control of your emotions and the other girl may be exposed for being the immature girl she is. If you look favorable compared to her then it will only be too obvious that you are the better choice. Rather than resorting to curses, resort to positive feelings. Be the obvious better choice and you stand a greater chance to win ex boyfriend back.

If she treats him poorly then talk to his friends. They may be feeling the same way. IF it keeps going you may have grounds to have an intervention. Talk with their friends and find out with them what you could do together to get him out of that situation. If you want to win ex boyfriend back it will be easier if you have his friends working with you. Much of the best ways to win ex boyfriend back from her is going to be using his friends.

If it seems like he is under some love spells that she put on him, find out what it is that she has over him and try to find ways to show that he deserves better. Let his friends know that he deserves better. They may very well agree with you. If she has him obsessed with her and she is forcing him to spend time with her instead of them, they will want to get him back. If you are on their side, they will be on yours.

If are able to convince others who know him well that their friend is better off with you then you will have a lot smaller of a battle to fight. There will be so many people against that relationship that it could crumble under the pressure. The secret to having this work in your favor is to be behind the scenes. Let others do the work for you. That way if that other girl catches on you can make her seem like she is paranoid for thinking that you are causing all their problems.

The key to getting what you want, which is to win ex boyfriend back, is to have as many people on your side as possible. It doesn't have to be you against the two of them. It could be the two of them against the world. When their relationship falls apart, you will find it easier to win ex boyfriend back.

What Can I Do To Save My Marriage ...

2009-10-27T19:54:00.000-07:00

If you're looking around wondering “what can I do to save my marriage” then you're no doubt in a dire situation as your marriage has hit rocky ground.

Without a doubt there needs to be a period of reflection before you can launch into a plan to answer your search, “what can I do to save my marriage?” Failure to stop and think and map out a plan means that you might very well end up going down dead ends and around and around in circles. So reflect and get a plan.

If you haven't already done so, you should talk to your spouse. Find out what they think of the situation and if they believe there is anything worth saving of the marriage. With any luck you both agree that you both want to save your marriage and you decide to go forward together.

You are then faced with either trying to figure things out on your own, going for marriage counseling or searching online for one of the many ebooks that are available and that will answer your question “what can I do to save my marriage?”

If you opt for marriage counseling you should consider that this process can be long, expensive and you really have to be prepared to open yourself and your marriage up to an outside third party. Not only that, you have to be lucky enough to find a therapist who will gel with you and your spouse in order for the process to work really well.

You could both try to work things out between on your own and sometimes this can work really well. However, you should be aware that you do run the risk of making things worse because you might not be entirely sure what you're doing or how to go about it. Not only that, you and

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your spouse will naturally take your corners and hold onto positions that you have, whether they are right or they are wrong. It's human nature to protect yourself and that might not always be the right way for you to go forward to find ways “to save my marriage.”

The other alternative is to use one of the many ebooks that are online. This can really be a break through choice for a lot of couples because it usually involves going at your own pace, paying a one off fee and getting step by step practical guidance about how to really save the marriage.

Without a doubt it is always easier to have your spouse on side and the two of you rooting for the marriage, but choosing the right resource to save the union is also crucial!

Restoring Trust in Relationships After an Affair

2009-10-27T19:34:00.000-07:00

Some people claim that an affair should always end a relationship. But I disagree. I believe that every relationship is savable if both parties really want to work on it. This article is about restoring trust in relationships.

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Restoring trust in relationships requires an adjustment in attitude and actions. Even after an affair, it is possible to save a relationship. But that starts with ramping up the level of trust within the couple.

If you have had an affair, you have had an attitude which allowed you to stray. There may be something at the relationship’s core that is diseased. But you can heal the disease.

What was it that you were looking for when you strayed? Was the sex humdrum? Was she too busy for you? Was she just not spending enough time on her grooming?

You wouldn’t have had an affair if the primary relationship was perfect. So, what needs to be done to fix it? Often that lies in self analysis. But just as often, that lies in the couple’s relationship.

Restoring trust in relationships means fixing the underlying problems. Sometimes that means going into couples counseling.

But just understanding our thoughts isn’t enough. The next step is to take concrete action in fixing the problems.

The secret to restoring trust in relationships lies not in talking about the right things, but in doing the right things.

One of the biggest things you can do is to make small promises and keep them. If you promise to take the trash out every evening, do it. And, do it consistently. When you demonstrate that you can be trusted in the small things, a gradual sense of confidence will be realized in the larger picture of the relationship.

Your girlfriend or wife is going to need constant reassurance that you have changed. This means that you are going to need to apologize more than once over time. You will also need to treat the recurring comments about the violation of trust as a matter of course. It is not easy for her to forgive the breach. If you want to stay with her, you will be patient with her.

This does not mean that you must feel guilty about the indiscretion forever. In fact, if you allow her to constantly guilt trip you, she will not be satisfied in the new relationship you are building. Just be understanding.

Finally, you need to put a positive spin on the incident. Treat it as an opportunity for both of you to grow as individuals and for the relationship to mature. Just as a bone grows stronger at the place it has been broken, a relationship can improve after an affair.

Restoring trust in a relationship takes time. It requires that you change both your attitudes and actions. But it is possible to heal the divide and be a stronger couple as a result.

Steps on How to Save a Relationship

2009-10-27T19:24:00.000-07:00

Jim works long hours and Lisbet doesn’t feel he is there for her. Lisbet spends all of her time meeting the children’s needs and Jim feels that she doesn’t have time for his needs? Can this relationship be saved? Should it be saved? Here’s how to save a relationship.

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First, you must decide whether the relationship is worth saving. While almost every relationship can be saved with hard work, both parties must decide that they want to make it work. Because if a partner has opted out and doesn’t want to opt back in, there is little that can be done.

Many people stay in a relationship because it is convenient or remain in a marriage because of the children. But that is not enough. How to save a relationship starts with a commitment by both parties that the relationship is worth saving.

Next, you must pinpoint the problem or problems in a relationship. One of the biggest problems in how to save a relationship is that people believe the symptoms of the problem are the problem itself.

For instance, many people think an affair is a problem that causes break ups. In truth, the affair is a symptom of a deeper problem. For instance, a lack of true intimacy can lead to a straying spouse. While most people look at the affair as the problem, the underlying cause of the affair was the lack of intimacy in the primary relationship. If you do not deal with the lack of intimacy, you might be able to keep another affair from starting through the use of guilt, but another problem (for instance pornography) could pop up because you haven’t dealt with the core issue.

When you start to deal with core issues rather than symptoms, you can save the relationship.

Once you have identified the core problems, you can begin to share your thoughts. This means both verbalizing your own feelings and listening to your partner’s concerns. Hold your partner’s had when you are talking about your problems as a signal that you want to reconnect even when your emotions are swirling. When your partner talks about things that hurt you remember that he or she is not doing it because he or she wants to hurt you. Rather it is because they want to improve the relationship.

Once you have detailed the problems in your relationship, create an action plan to solve them. Then, take concrete steps on your action plan. If you don’t spend time together like you used to, plan a date night every week. Take turns coming up with creative ways to spend an evening together each Wednesday. If not communicating is the problem, commit to spending 20 minutes before going to bed just talking to one another. And, then do it.

Finally, you should realize that saving a relationship is an ongoing process. You are going to take two steps forward only to take one step back. There is going to be both laughter and tears going forward. Be quick to apologize and slow to blame.

Is your relationship worth saving? Feel free to leave your comments below ..

Breaking Up is Hard To Do

2009-10-27T19:16:00.000-07:00

Does your to-do list look something like this :

· Walk dog

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· Water plants
· Break up with significant other

Okay, while ending a relationship is hardly at the top of anybody’s calendar, the fact is that when a relationship has gone sour, someone has to make the move to end it. The truth is that many relationships last long beyond the “expire by” date just because breaking up is hard to do.

Sometimes a break up happens in dramatic fashion with clothes being thrown out of a second story window.

Other times, the relationship just peters out until someone says “it’s caput.”

How do you go about ending a relationship so that neither party gets hurt?

You need to get clear on why you want to terminate the romance. The immediate reason that jumps into your mind may not be the real reason. Once you get clear, the next step in ending a relationship is to get honest. That means that in your discussion with your partner that you are true to yourself and to them.

Schedule a mutually convenient time for the breakup. In general, it is better to do it in person rather than over the phone, but if distance is an issue in the relationship, you should do it sooner than wait for a time you can get together.

Get into a state of compassion when ending the relationship. If you want to stay friends after the break up, you need to conclude the romantic ties with love and compassion.

Don’t put your partner on the defensive. Talk about the things you’ve learned and the memories you will cherish that have come from your love. Be present during the break up. Your partner may become very emotional during this time. You need to respond to their needs.

Don’t take anything personally when ending a relationship. Your partner may say things they don’t really mean. Let these words roll off of your back.

Your partner may need to meet with you more than once to conclude the relationship. Or, they may need space. Give your ex what they need to get through the transition time.

But don’t let them make you feel guilty. You’re ready to begin a new phase in your life and it will not include a romantic relationship with your ex. It is best if you retain a positive relationship of some sort with them, but if you are ending the relationship for the right reasons, it is best for both of you.

Should you ever consider reconnecting? Does ending a relationship always mean “the end, close the book?”

That is something you have to decide. Virtually all relationships can be saved if certain conditions are met. If you have the time and are willing to make the effort, you can get through this period as an even stronger couple.

However, if you are determined to walk away, it’s best to end a relationship with a clean break and move on.

Best Seller Books On Relationships May Make A Fool Of You

2009-10-27T19:08:00.000-07:00

If your ex has just broken up with you, you may be in the marketplace for books on relationships. But how do you choose the best books on relationships among the many offerings out there?

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In this article, I will show you how to choose the best books on relationships. And the answer will surprise you. Read on…

First, don’t be fooled by fancy letters after a author’s name. There are many people who find school to be a convenient escape from real life. Instead of engaging with people, they spend their time in the classroom and library. As a result, they end up with a lot of letters after their names when they hit age 35. They use their degrees to indicate that they have “expert knowledge” of a situation. But does their expertise work in the real world?

Instead, you should look for books on relationships by authors who have been in the trenches. They’ve either put a bad relationship back together themselves or they have helped countless buddies do the same. These aren’t therapy patients that come in for the “fifty minute hour” either. These relationships are those of people the author cares deeply about.

Next, you want to find books that don’t boil down to “put the relationship aside for 30 days and work on yourself during that period.” This is all most “save your relationship” or “get your ex back” reports say. Many of the ebooks on the market turn that concept into 50 page documents. These are just pieces of fluff and don’t deserve your attention – or your money.

Instead, you should look for a book that will give you new information; information that you’re friends can’t give you.

For instance, will the book tell you what women crave the most? Will it give you a step by step guide for how to give it to her? Will the book show you how to recover from an affair? Will it give you specific techniques to get relief from your pain?

Finally, look at who is recommending the book. Do the testimonials seem a little generic? Were they written by the author’s brother and second cousin?

You want to find books on relationships that come recommended by a wide variety of people, in various situations, from all walks of life. If it looks like both a guy from England and a newly engaged woman from Kansas have used the book, chances are it will work for you.

There are many books on relationships on the market. Unfortunately, most of them are drivel because they weren’t written by someone in the trenches. As a result, they have generic advice that could be best summed up in a paragraph or two. Then, what recommendations the book can get are generic in nature, because the book really has nothing going for it.

Finding the best books on relationships can take a little work. But, everything about relationships are work. Shouldn’t you invest the time and money in the very best book out them?

You can check out the posts on REVIEWS in this blog. :-)

How to Keep a Woman Happy

2009-10-27T19:01:00.000-07:00

Do you know how to keep a woman happy? Here is some advice on relationships for men.

The first advice on relationships item I have for you is to always be yourself. Many men don’t feel that they are good enough to catch a beautiful, sexy woman, so they put on a show. But a confident man is the sexiest beast around. Have you ever noticed that some of the ugliest guys have some of the prettiest women? That is because they display a level of confidence that is more attractive to women than physical looks.

Next, you should do the little things. This means offering to take her car in for an oil change or giving her a bag of Jelly Bellies (her favorite flavors) from time to time. Sometimes men think in terms of “grand gestures,” when it is the little things add up to long relationships.

This ties into the next piece of advice on relationships : appreciate her. You shouldn’t take her for granted. Let her know that you value her.

Next up is not obviously looking at other women when you are with her. Women think that you are comparing her to the woman you’re looking at. They don’t understand the whole concept of “the day I stop looking is the day I die.” This comes from the biological drive for monogamy in women. Women are looking for a lifetime partner for a man with whom they can raise children. They can’t help it. That’s how evolution designed them. So minimize the ogling, especially when she’s around.

You should try to make her laugh. While men list good looks at the top of the things they need in a woman, women list a man’s sense of humor. So, if you want the relationship to last, keep her laughing.

The next bit of advice on relationships comes in seeking common interests. It’s great if you got together because of a hobby or an interest, but it still helps when you take an interest in a long standing passion of hers. If this means developing an appreciation for foreign films, so be it. This shows that you care about her and she’ll know you are one in a million.

Once you get the girl, it may seem like you don’t have to try anymore – at least as far as grooming goes. And, while women are less sensitive to looks than men are, they still like a man who makes an attempt. So, shave on weekends. Keep in touch with the latest fashion trends for men. In short, don’t get sloppy just because you’ve landed her. You can unland her just as easily.

She’s going to need to know that she can integrate you into her circle of family and friends. A man must be part of her larger life, especially after the first few weeks of passion are over. So, make an effort to get along with her girlfriends and impress her parents. A woman relies on her social network to validate her relationship choices. Make an effort.

You should always be considerate of her feelings. Women are less stable than guys. Part of this is hormonal. When you are sensitive to her mood, you won’t get on her bad side.

The final piece of advice on relationships is to be open to trying new things. At the beginning of a relationship, everything is new from the types of dates you arrange to the way you kiss. But, after a while, these things become routine. If you find that your relationship has fallen into a rut, shake things up. Try something new. It will go a long way to keeping your relationship healthy.

So, there are ten bits of advice on relationships to keep your dating life strong. Look you guys, these things are common sense and the fact is I almost drove my sweetheart out of my life because I didn't pay attention to what I was doing. There is a book that woke me up written by T 'Dub' Jackson called "The Magic Of Making Up". After I read it and began applying his common sense suggestions, our love life turned around. Not only that all of my personal relationships, with friends, co-workers and my family have become much smother than they were before.

You might want to check out "The Magic Of Making Up" yourself.

How to Get Back Together with My Ex in 3 Steps

2009-10-27T18:56:00.000-07:00

Have you just recently experienced a break up, and you are wondering "how can I get back together with my ex”? You may want to score your ex back immediately, and this is a common feeling that everyone experiences.

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You can find yourself following into an emotionally depressed state, and you may find yourself wondering what to do. You may immediately feel like calling your ex and begging him or her to come back to you. But is this really going to make things better? Rather than make things better, what it is probably going to do is make your situation much worse, chasing your ex away even further.

What you should actually do at this point is the opposite of what you are feeling. Do you feel like calling your ex? Don't! Do you feel like staying inside and crying all day long? Don't! Instead, follow these three basic steps and you will have the answer that you need to the age old question "How do I get back together with my ex?"

Step 1 - How to get back with my ex : Accept the Break Up!

First and foremost, you need to accept that the break up is happening. Tell your ex that you are okay with it, and allow the "moving on" process to begin/. When you do this, it will eliminate a large amount of the tension and stress that is being experienced by all. Your ex will need time to think about the relationship, and this will give you time as well to consider your options. If your ex realizes that he or she still loves you, they will find a way to get back with you.

Step 2 - How to get back with my ex : Do not contact your ex!

Do not make an effort to contact your ex anymore right now. You should cut communication off with him or her so that there can be some "thinking time". This may seem counterintuitive, but by cutting communication off you are signaling that you have already moved on and that you are doing just fine.

This will allow him or her to think about the relationship and how they feel about its value. It will also allow them to have some time to miss you again. When you can separate yourself from your ex and can calm your nerves, that may be the best time to let them realize how important you were to them.

Step 3 - How to get back with my ex: Plan Ahead for the Get Together

Once you have completed the two steps mentioned just above, you can start working on planning on when you should meet, where you should meet, and also what should be said when you do meet up again. This will allow you to get a better idea of whether or not your ex still loves you, and also if there is any chance that you and your ex will be able to get back together.

"How to get back with my ex?" Can be a little more complicated than the three steps above. But they are a good start and will improve your chances of winning your ex back.

How To Tell that My Ex Want To Get Back With Me ?

2009-10-27T18:49:00.000-07:00

If your ex is showing you a little bit of interest, or seems more interested in going out and spending time with you than before, or if you notice signs that your ex is trying to flirt with you, then it's okay to be a little hopeful but you need to avoid jumping the gun. Are you as

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king yourself "does my ex want to get back with me"?

These are definitely very common signs that your ex is interested in getting you back. But even if you want to get back with your ex, you should not simply jump into things. The best way to play things is to play hard to get (in moderation), which is probably what your ex will best respond to anyway. If you simply jump into things full force, then you may find your ex pushing you back again. In fact, if your ex is giving indications that he or she wants you back, then the odds are, it was you playing hard to get that led to the renewed interest in the first place.

Usually when you break up with your ex, or he or she breaks up with you, there is a natural level of missing one another, or longing to get back together. This is especially true following a relationship of a year or longer. Your ex is probably going to miss you no matter what, because of how many memories were shared together during this period of time. But there are other emotions that come into play including past regrets. If you are wondering "does my ex want to get back with me" the odds are that your ex may be thinking the same thing for the same reasons.

Sometimes when an ex shows interest again following a break up however, it is only a game. They may see that you love them, and they may simply be trying to get attention, without actually intending to get you back. So, unless your ex really seems genuinely interested in spending time with you, they may just be passing the time because they have no other prospects on the horizon. And worst of all they may see this as away to get revenge for some perceived wrong. This is why it is important not to jump the gun, and why you should focus on reading into the situation before you act on it.

This is common, and a lot of people find themselves wondering "does my ex want to get back with me?", but the truth is, its better to get a feel for the situation before you act. In reality, if your ex does want to get back with you, playing hard to get (in moderation) is the best scenario because it will prevent you from getting hurt if your ex is not really serious about getting back with you.

How To Increase Chemistry In Relationships

2009-10-27T18:38:00.000-07:00

Think chemistry in relationships is something that “just happens?” If you do, the truth might surprise you. Sure, you probably can’t create chemistry where none exists, but if t

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hat initial spark is there, there’s plenty you can do to fan the flames.

Understand what chemistry is!

If you’ve never really felt strong chemistry with another person, it can be hard to get an idea of what it is. What most people call chemistry is a sense that the two of you are just meant to be together. You’re both perfectly at ease with each other and have a strong physical attraction for each other. While it might have something to do with looks and pheromones, most of it is mental. It comes from you and your sweetie having the same beliefs, dreams, and maybe even habits and pet peeves.

Develop a rapport!

Before you can build up any chemistry, you need to have a good rapport first. If you’ve only seen each other for one or two dates, that rapport may not quite be there yet. To create it, look for a conversation topic you can really bond over. Just make sure it’s something pleasant and low-stress, though. You may discover you both love discussing ways to end famine in Africa, but that subject doesn’t help your partner associate you with pleasure and fun.

Use humor!

Laughter is not only fun, it also makes us feel at ease with another person. You don’t have to be a professional comedian. Even an attempt at humor in your own style can work. Just keep it clean and neutral so you don’t offend your date right off the bat.

Adrenaline is your friend!

Studies have shown that couples who met in an exciting situation—whether pleasurable or not—tend to find each other more attractive. More so than couples who met under normal circumstances. It works because the mind associates any excitement with the person we’re with at the time and mistakes it for physical attraction. Make use of this by planning a date that will get the adrenaline pumping like a scary movie, a rollercoaster ride, or even whitewater rafting.

Express yourself!

You can’t have chemistry in relationships with people who don’t know the real you. Instead of keeping your opinions to yourself in hopes of hiding anything your partner might not like about you, make it a point to share your thoughts and feelings about important issues. Sometimes just a single off-hand comment can make your date fall for you hard.

Enhance the physical!

Some tips for how to increase chemistry in relationships will tell you to touch your date on the knee or arm early on. You want to be careful with that, though. Get physical too early on and you could just end up turning your partner off. Instead, start by just talking about what physical features you each find most attractive in the opposite sex and then using the info you gain to your advantage.

Chemistry in relationships may be mysterious and hard to control, but that doesn’t mean you can’t help it along a little. Make sure you start with a good rapport, throw in a little humor and excitement and you’ll be off to a good start.

Winning Your Ex Back in a Calm and Controlled Way

2009-10-27T18:33:00.000-07:00

Winning an ex back often feels like hard work - but it doesn't have to be. The main reason why so many people have trouble getting their love one back is because they go about it the wrong way. They pester them with flowers, or postcards, or letters - and then can't understand why their ex starts avoiding them or giving them cold shoulder treatment. In this article, you will discover a much more efficient, proven way that doesn't require you to beg, plead or bribe your ex into giving you another chance.

To begin with, simply show your ex that you're strong enough to make it on your own. We all like to think that our ex is out there, crying and withering away now that we're no longer together. But if you can show your ex that this is not the case, they will not only respect you more - they will actually start wondering whether breaking up with you was a smart move. It's a very simple counter-intuitive technique, but it has saved more relationships that you can imagine.

Put simply, instead of calling your ex over and over every day, simply pretend they don't exist and move on with your life. Hit the gym, call up some old friends or take on extra tasks at the workplace - the key is to fill your life with as many things as possible so that you really don't have time to think about your ex.

Experts call this the "No Contact" technique. It works because it relies on freaking your ex out by convincing them that you're ready to move on. When you stop calling them all the time, they're faced with the very real prospect of losing you forever - and this, in turn, always makes them ask themselves whether this is something they really want or not.

In 90% of cases, your former partner will usually decide to give your relationship another go, provided that you play your cards right. Following the simple system described in this article will set you well on your way to reconciliation and make getting your ex back almost inevitable!

Download the Ex Back System and get your ex back ... even if you think your situation is hopeless !

Getting Her Back… For Good

2009-10-27T18:21:00.000-07:00

Whether you want to get your girl back or you're just worried that she may leave one day, getting the right advice is important. So how does Michael Webb's new “Getting Her Back… For Good” book compare to the rest? Let's find out…

Most “win her back” books use jealously, trickery and a “whatever it takes” mentality to hide or mask what went wrong in the first place, or to create the illusion of change instead of the reality of it.

Which means, even if you DO get her back, it won't last!

Getting Her Back… For Good is NOT about shallow manipulation or obvious trickery. Rather, this book teaches you how to become a better YOU so she'll want you back.

The book explains that winning her back has much more to do with your character, with the very fabric of who you are, than it does with what you did or what you wear or who you hang out with.

And the content? Upon first glance I was very pleased with the content. The book started off with the most important topic of all : Do you REALLY REALLY REALLY want her back?

The book tends to cover certain topics several times throughout the book obviously because of the sheer importance it possesses. One thing I really enjoyed about this book was the “slap in your face” style of writing. It works because, chances are, most guys have no idea why their women left them. They need a 'in your face' approach to get through to them.

Also, rather than covering all the material step-by-step, the book focus 90% of its attention on improving yourself and that you must be willing to change.

I love that this book is FOR MEN ONLY. Most of these books are NOT gender specific, somehow assuming that men and women are exactly the same, which of course is ridiculous. The strategies for getting back a man vs. a woman are very different.

So is the book perfect? No.

While using canned speeches would work against your efforts by making your ex suspicious, it still would have been nice to see some examples in this book to help paint a better picture. Also, some examples on how to make that first contact would have been nice.

However, all in all, this is still the best “getting the love of your life back” book I've seen. I highly recommend it to any man who wants his sweetheart back, or is having relationship trouble, or is just worried that she may leave him one day and wants to prevent it.

For more info check out… HERE

Getting Him Back

2009-10-27T18:14:00.000-07:00

Whether you want to get your ex back or you’re just worried that he might leave one day, getting the right advice is important. So how does Michael Webb’s new “Getting Him Back” book compare to the rest? Let’s find out…

The problem with most “Getting Him Back” books is that they usually say things like, “just don’t pursue him and he may eventually come back.” What kind of advice is that? What if he’s seeing other women? What if he’s moved on? Then what do you do?

That kind of information sucks, especially when you pay money for it! And worst of all, most of these books PROMISE they’ll get your man back. How can they make claims like this when there are 1000’s of possible scenarios you could experience?

Thankfully, “Getting Him Back” is different. It never tries to sugarcoat or get your hopes up. It stays grounded in the real world (where most of us live!)

And the content? Upon first glance I was very pleased with the content. The book started off with the most important topic of all : Do you REALLY REALLY want him back?

It covers this in great depth to ensure you don’t make the same mistake over and over again, and it does a good job of this. It covers 22 important questions on 3 topics including: How did you contribute to the breakup? How did he? How will things be different when you get back together? Questions you should ask yourself to help you make the right decision.

Once you’re 100% sure you want him back, the book moves into the breakup material. It begins with the breakup itself and covers everything all the way up to catching up with him again, covering each stage step-by-step.

I love that this book is FOR WOMEN ONLY. Most of these books are NOT gender specific, which of course is ridiculous because most of us would agree that men and women are completely different creatures.

So is the book perfect? No.

While using canned speeches could work against your efforts by making your ex suspicious, it still would have been nice to see some examples in this book to help paint the picture.

However, all in all, this is still the best “getting the love of your life back” book I’ve seen. I highly recommend it to any woman who wants her sweetheart back, or is having relationship trouble, or is just worried that her man may leave her one day.

For more info check out…HERE

Tips on how to get your ex girlfriend back

2009-10-24T09:17:00.001-07:00

To every relationship there is a beginning and often an end. But in some cases there is a second beginning to relationships as well. Here in this article we will discuss those relationships that are looking for a second beginning. So in case you were completely heart broken thinking there was no way you could get your ex girlfriend back, then reading through this article will surely help you take a sigh of relief.

Here we will discuss a few tips on how to get your ex girlfriend back. So, read through the points and apply them in your case as required.

• Every woman has a pattern of psychological behavior which you need to study and understand in order to have a healthy relationship. Women are driven by their feelings and emotions, therefore respecting their feeling and emotions become a must to win their heart.

• Make her feel that she is special.

• Do not try to force things on her.

• Do not look as if you are desperate.

• Do not try to promise her that things will be different this time as she is less likely to believe you.

• Be a friend to her and listen to every word she says

• Do not keep calling her several times a day.

• Show that you care for her.

• Achieve things that she’d be proud of.

• Your actions should show how much you love her.

• Do things that are likely to impress her.

In conclusion, the abovementioned are a few points that will surely help you a great deal to win her back and start your relationship afresh.

All the best!

How to get the ex back..

2009-10-24T09:14:00.000-07:00

Getting back together with you ex can change things and even though your relationship may not be the same as before, there is nothing holding you from making it stronger. It may take a little time to gain back the trust and respect from your ex but it is very much doable. Although, do keep in mind that some times it’s best to let go of a relationship and not dwell on the past. Analyze the reasons for your break up and if you feel those reasons can be remedied, and your ex means enough to you to try your best to have them in your life again, go for it!

This article would help you with few simple suggestions on how to get ex back. A second chance may be what you and your partner need to make the situation right.

Here are some suggestions that you may find helpful:

It is very important for you to create some sort of positive communication between you and your partner. Maybe proper communication can really work to make things right.

To mend the pieces, it is important for you find out the real reasons as to why you and your partner lost your initial spark. First you should consider all that went wrong and try and rectify previous faults in your relationship.

Do not be over-emotional, although you may let your partner know that you still care for them and that you would be there to support them.

That being said, it is important to remember that every relationship is special and every breakup is different as well. Therefore, whether you can win back your ex or not depends on your past relationship. Getting back together may take some time but it would be well worth it if you and your partner build a more solid relationship this time. Good luck!

Advice on How to get your ex-back

2009-10-24T08:33:00.000-07:00

Losing the one you love is probably one of life’s worst punishments. However, just because you split with the man or woman you love doesn’t mean that they are gone forever. All may seem lost once a couple parts ways, but if you genuinely love your ex and want them back, you need to make the right amount and kind of effort for them to give you a second chance.
Here below is some advice on how to get your ex back :

• The biggest mistake that you can do right now is act like a stalker. If you do so, you would be pushing your ex further away from you. So try and give your ex some space to think over the situation.

• While giving your ex some space, it is wise to let them know that you care about them. Avoid being pushy, just lightly make them aware of your feelings.

• Remember that this is your relationship therefore stop acting on advices of each one of your friends. It is good that you get proper advice but the ultimate decision is yours to make. You are the best person to know how you can make the situation right between you and your ex.

Your behavior shall determine if you would be able to get back with your ex. Approach this situation with the right attitude and you shall see it turning out positively for you. Be optimistic and work to enhance the positives of your relationship. Hopefully the above advice on how to get your ex back shall help get your ex back in your life and make your relationship much stronger and stress-free in the long run.

FREE Report - The Ex back System (95% of relationship can be saved!)

2009-10-20T18:33:00.000-07:00

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26 Reasons Why Relationships Fail And How To Know If You Are Having Unhealthy, Sad Relationships

2009-01-12T04:55:00.000-08:00

Unhealthy, Sad Relationships have some general notable characteristics in common. Here are 26 basic guidelines for reference. They are not in order of importance.

Avoidance – Many people in unhealthy relationships simply avoid facing reality. There are many reasons for this. For instance, deep down inside, the people involved may be trying to make themselves appear superior. Or perhaps they don’t want to face the fact that their mates really aren’t who they say they are. For example, Person A might cover up and make excuses for his mate, Person B, who is always late coming home from work and almost always misses family functions. Person A could be trying to avoid reality and make up excuses to cover up an affair that Person B is involved in so that it doesn’t destroy their “perfect image” in everyone’s eyes. Or Person A could be avoiding the fact that Person B is a workaholic.

Burnout – Although many can carry out romance throughout their entire relationships, the actual honeymoon period does have to end, in reality. And those who can keep the “love” fires burning, not 24 / 7 but off and on regularly during their relationship, have better chances of healthier relationships than those who suffer burnout and don’t know where to turn or who turn to unhealthy solutions. In short, every relationship has its highs and lows. During the low times, like maybe when one person begins to feel disillusioned with marriage, or maybe trapped, tired, helpless, depressed or let down, if this person reaches out to unhealthy alternatives, like getting a fake substitution – maybe seeking another mate in secret, getting “high,” or some other negative behavior, once-healthy relationships can suffer. Instead, the couple needs to face issues together; add some new goals to the relationship, do some fun things together more, talk more, etc.

Compatibility Issues – Opposites attract; or do they? Sure it’s great to have some “spice” in your life. But relationships are about getting your needs met – at least on some level. And constant negativity can certainly hinder intimacy. So those who have a difficult time focusing on what attracted them to their mates in the first place can suffer unhealthy, sad relationships, constantly in conflict over issues with which they can’t agree. Check out the complete Love By Design System to find out if HE or SHE is the one for you today!

Devotional Void – A lack of commitment or ardent love can make for unhappy relationships. Being friends or roommates is one thing. Being committed, loving soul mates is another. Being “in love” 24/7 doesn’t necessarily have to be a requirement, but being in a “loving” committed relationship can make the difference.

Enthusiasm Dwindles – If you don’t add in some spice once in awhile, you can get the same old, same old. Couples caught up in routines can lose that spark of enthusiasm; i.e. zest of life in their relationships if they forget to be spontaneous once in awhile or forget to flavor their relationship with fun, adventure, romance.

Forgiveness Void – No one is perfect. Mistakes are a part of life. Those unwilling or unable to forgive, can pretty much count on having more unhealthy relationships over time. Relationships based or growing on anger, spite, disgust, resentment or other negative feelings associated with lack of forgiveness are like wilted flowers. They need tending to or they’ll die.

Guise - Simulated relationships or those under the guise of having a solid, happy relationship are not destined for success, on the whole. Or rather false is as false does, as Forest Gump might say. Pretending wears thin and doesn’t last long.

Harm – Harmful thoughts, words and actions can sure lead to unhealthy relationships. An occasional outbreak during a stressful moment might be considered normal like swearing; i.e. if someone hasn’t been raped, battered (or other sever trauma has occurred) by the other party. However, harmful, violent actions such as those and repeated verbal negativity is abusive and not healthy in relationships – or life.

Indulgence – Instant gratification or indulgence of unhealthy behaviors is a sign of trouble. Grabbing chocolate to satisfy a craving is one thing. Grabbing illicit drugs or another mate in secrecy is another. Yielding to unhealthy temptations and desires is a pathway to unhealthy relationships.

Just say yes – Not being able to draw boundaries or sustain limits is another possible path to sad relationships. For example, if one person in the relationship has a difficult time saying “Yes” and setting limits, his or her mate could always come in second, third or forth - - rarely first in the other person’s eyes and agenda. And while it’s fine to take a back seat once in awhile, people make time for priorities and in healthy relationships, both parties feel and share the value of being number one with one another.

Kick the Dog – Kicking the dog, not in a literal sense (although that would be negative, too!) is characteristic of unhealthy relationships. For example, if a person comes home angry and passes this anger on to the dog by kicking it, that is not a healthy release of anger. The unhealthier people are, the unhealthier they generally deal with stress. Help is available.

Lemons – Unhealthy relationships often have at least one party who can’t seem to make lemonade out of life’s lemons. Maybe he or she has the wrong recipe. Or maybe the person is a bad cook. But assistance is needed in this department!

Management Mania – Remember the “Odd Couple?” A super manager personality can ruin an otherwise healthy relationship. Likewise a super sloth can wreak one, too. A little give and take is called for.

“Neverland” – Ever heard something this in an argument, “You never….?” Well trips to Neverland are for Peter Pan. Skip the “always” and “nevers” in arguments and avoid unhealthy relationship issues. It’s rare that someone does or does not do something 100 percent of the time. Memories just seem to fail during opportunistic, stressful episodes sometimes (not always, though!)

Ominous – Bad or ominous feelings, an omen…a feeling deep inside that tells you something is wrong - this often accompanies unhealthy relationships.

Pressure – When one party pressures (or forces) the other to have sex, this is characteristic of an unhealthy relationship.

Questions – Part of communicating is asking and answering questions. If this process causes problems, i.e. even the simplest of questions arouses anger, suspicions, fighting, etc., this is a trait often found with unhealthy relationships. The party who has difficulty answering questions may be hiding something, dealing with control issues or dealing with substance abuse (or other).

Responds Inappropriately – Some characteristics of unhealthy relationships include playing head games, trying to humiliate, using threats, insults or jealousy. These inappropriate responses suggest unhealthy environment between the couple.

Silence – Silence isn’t always golden, as the saying goes. If one person shuns or ignores the other, outside of a solitary or very brief occurrence, this can reflect an unhealthy relationship.

Treatment – If healthcare treatments are being ignored or stopped without the help of a professional; for example, in the case of stopping anti-depressant medication after a severe (negative) episode (like suicide), this can signal an unhealthy relationship. People need to take care of themselves and not leave everything up to their mates in relationships.

Untidy / Unkempt – When one or both partners disregards physical appearance for the duration (long-term, not just for a weekend), this signals an unhealthy relationship. One or both could be abusing substances, for example, or suffering depression.

Verbal Abuse /Violate – When one or both partners use verbal abuse and / or violate or cause harm to the other’s person or personal property, things or friends, this can be a red flag for an unhealthy relationship. People should respect each other and each other’s property, things and friends. And verbal abuse is not appropriate.

Weapons – Threatening a partner with a weapon, even if it’s a household (or other) item used as a weapon is a sign of an unhealthy relationship.

Xerox – A trait of an unhappy relationship can be when a person is copying another, failing to be himself or herself. Some personality disorders are also characterized by this trait that reportedly shows up in a number of unhealthy relationships. And help is available.

Youthful Outlook / Emotions – An energetic, youthful attitude toward life is one thing. Youthful expectations; i.e. outlook, and emotions can be characteristic of unhealthy partners. Growing couples need maturity as they grow together and face adult issues. Childish displays of anger, hostility, selfishness, etc., don’t have much place in healthy, growing partnerships.

Zero – Growing relationships need a foundation. Zero to grow on is difficult to multiply. Got to start somewhere!

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